Hers

Rare Beef Pho

I was startled by a knock on my door. I must have fallen asleep on the floor after Emersons and I had our encounter.

"Sweetheart, are you there" Lindas sweet soft soothing voice rang on the other side of the door.

"uh yeah, I'm here" I stood up and sat on the bed trying to shake off my sad face "come in."

the door was unlocked from the other side and the old lady came in.

"Here Jackie, Emerson sent you supper." she handed me a bowl of rare beef Pho, a Vietnamese soup I had always loved ever since I was a child. "Emerson told me it was your favorite."

"huh?" I asked confused. I had never had Pho with Emerson before. It was a guilty pleasure of mine I only had when I was feeling down, sad, or overwhelmed. The hot soup comforted me every time. It reminded me of my dad. A time when life was much simpler. We would always stop by a Vietnamese restaurant on the corner of Hilton street by my school and have a hot bowl of Pho soup in the winter.

"what do you mean my favorite?"

"That's what she told me, sweetheart, so I had Shawn make it for you." Shawn was the house chef. But what really got me thinking was from where did Emerson know Pho was my favorite soup. I never mentioned it to anyone. Especially anyone that might have known Emerson. It was a pleasure I enjoyed best alone allowing me to drift into my childhood memories. "Here take it."

She handed me the bowl and headed out the room stopping at the entrance. "Emerson also told me to tell you to meet her in her office at 8 pm. I'll leave the door unlocked for you. I was supposed to come let you out then but you can handle yourself. But please don't leave the room till then, ok?" she winked one eye and smiled.

"Oh ok." I smiled "Thank you, Linda." I sat down on the floor crisscrossing my legs and looked down at the bowl. The hot steam rising making my face feel warm.

I stared at it a second remembering my dad. My dad had always been a good man, but he had fallen in some bad steps when I was about 10. He always had a troubled life but tried his best to give me and my mom the best life he could. Before I was born he was involved in a gang as a teenager. He had his troubles getting out.

I remember when I was only 5 some guy stopped us one time on the way home from an ice cream shop and harassed my dad. The only thing I remember is my dad holding my hand tighter as the man looked at me and smiled evilly. I was too young to understand what was happening but now looking back I knew it was past trouble from the time he was involved with gangs. That was the only explanation.

Around 10 my family started to struggle with money and my parents were threatened to lose their home if they didn't pay the mortgage. My mom was used to a certain expensive way a life. She was furious with my dad and his common man's job. There fights and screaming every night until something changed. Suddenly they stopped.

No more fights. My mother was suddenly so happy. The house mortgage was paid. My mother even got a new car. Everything for a while was going great. But my dad started coming home less and less. Sometimes he wouldn't be home in weeks. My mother didn't seem to mind though. At least not in my 10-year-old mind.But every time he would come home we would always go to the Viatmenses restaurant at the corner of my school's street and have a warm bowl of pho. At that point, it didn't matter what season it was. It was my favorite and my dad knew it. But one day he never came back. I knew then that something had happened. "He just fell in some bad steps, Jaqueline." my mom told me.

This changed after that. My mother revolved her life around religion. More so than before. As a young child, we would go every Sunday but now that dad was gone we would go almost every evening after my mom's work. I remember my mom would spend hours talking with this guy who helped out at the church while I usually waited and twirled my fingers outside.

She grew colder after that. Colder towards me. Colder towards everyone in her life. The only person that made her happy was that guy and till the day she kicked my out she was still seeing him. But that was none of my business now. What happened in my mom's life was her business but boy I missed my dad.

I finished my bowl of Pho and cleaned my face up. I could see the remanence of my tears still on my cheeks. I headed downstairs to Emerson's office. I knew I was in trouble and I knew I was going to be punished but I needed to know more. I didn't know what was going to happen once I knocked on the door. Was I going to cry and plead forgiveness on my knees even though she lied to me, or was I going to end it all? Let the women who I was falling in love with go. A dom that had given me a better life and took better care of me than my mother did?

I knocked on the door and waited for a "come in" of approval before I slowly stepped in.

Emerson pointed at the couch in her office "Sit."