My Everything

Ch 20|| In My Head

Here's the thing. You're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you're trying to, but cannot fix. The only thing you can fix is yourself. This has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. 

I painted a picture of him.  One with no flaws, pure raw perfection.

 I thought I knew him well. Well enough to give him second chances twice. I got a habit of seeing what isn't there. Maybe I was the one being blinded by the lights all along. Not even 20/20 vision could've wipe my windshield of blur and confusion. 

Got caught up in the moment, way too many times. My imagination's too creative. My friends, they see demon while I saw angel. 

I needed something to believe in. My problematic mind fooled me once again. I thought he was the one... but it was all in my head. 

" HEWOOOO!! EARTH TO DASHIEEEE!!" 

" Soar?" I respond with my head in the clouds obviously not thinking straight. I sometimes forget Pinkie calls me that. Why did I think it was Soarin tho? He does not scream in a high pitched manner-

" Last time I checked I'm still Pinkie Pie" she chuckled, intentionally teasing my mistake in wording. 

" haha. I'm laughing outloud" I sarcastically say with my arms crossed. 

 Pinkie's smile widened. " REALLY?!"

" imagine a world like that " I phrase an Ariana Grande lyric from her 'thank u next' album. 

" Awww" Her eyes sadden as she pouts her lips in a babyish way. 

Geez... what'd I say wrong this time? 

" What's with the long face?"

" Imagineee. It's such a sad song " It was a bad idea to phrase a lyric from that specific song in the first place. I mean, at least it wasn't 'ghostin'. Luckliy, I know what's Pinkie's guilty pleasure song. To cheer her up I play 'be alright' on YouTube. 

" You feeling better now? "

" YAS! I'M GONNA BE ALRIGHT!" she bubbly exclaims.

Unluckily for me, the bell rings. "... 5th period" I accidentally say my thoughts once again out loud to the worst person possible. 

" OMG! WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Pinkie gasps. ( 'le gasp?') " You LOVE P.E!!" 

" Quibble is the reason I HATE P.E "

Oops... i did it again. So typically me.

" HA!! I KNEW IT!! YOU SO ARE INLOVE WITH SOARIN SKIES!!" There she goes again, making the wrong assumptions. Her Pinkie sense ain't accurate. 

" Shush!" I well... shushed her. " You're being too loud!" 

" WHYY?? CUZ ITS TRUEEE" There's no point in shushing her. She won't listen anyways. 

" Uh... no"

" YES IT IS!!" She insisted, and wouldn't stop persisting. 

~ during p.e ~

Look at you, boy, I invented you. Your Gucci tennis shoes... running from your issues. I figured we could work it out but it seems as some things weren't made to last. 

They say if you love something, it's best to let them go. If it's meant to be they'll come back to you everytime. I let him go, he came back. But the thing is it wasn't love. What I felt wasn't string enough to be love.