a thousand rainy days

when you kiss me

The sound of raindrops against the roof outside our bedroom and the smells of late autumn fills the background as i sit and lean on my pillow mesmerizing the moment. Ikjun is sleeping beside me, still covered under a warm grey blanket. His hand stills wrapped on my belly.

I like the view of our bedroom. The big glass slide door connected our bedroom directly to our little backyard. He knows i love to laid my bare feet on the grass. Especially after the rain.

I never imagine the words he said a few months ago can turn into reality right now. I can't help but smile just by remembering how confident he was when he said 'Our house' because i don't have any place to put the wooden swing chair he brought. And there it is, he placed it in my favorite spot of this house.

Ikjun puts the wooden swing chair he built in our backyard, i can see the chair through the glass door from here. He said i love watching the moon from there. And he's right, i enjoy spending time sitting there just to see the sky. Sometimes he will join me, sometimes he's just waiting for me on the bed. I asked him once to join me in the chair to sit together watching the stars, it's rarely happen to see stars in this big city, but he refused "i prefer the view from here" just like that, he captured me.

We haven't officially move in to this house, but Ikjun and I love to spend our weekend here, practically to arrange the stuff or some furnitures. He wants me to put stuff in this house based on my preference. I've never been more excited about this. There's one master bedroom in the first floor and two bedroom on the second for Uju and guest room. But what i love the most is our kitchen, separated by a big glass door that can be open entirely to our backyard. The other day he wakes me up with the smell of kimchi jjigae he made in the kitchen.

Yesterday we planned to go to Changwon to pick up Uju, but Ikjun need to do emergency surgery and Uju said he's still want to stay in Changwon for one more day, instead going back to apartment we decided to come here. I turn around to see how peaceful his sleep now. I'm leaning down to kiss his cheeks and stroke his hair before getting up from my bed. It's still early in the morning, but i am a morning person, i can't go back to sleep if i'm awake already.

It was a bit cold when i stood on the wooden floor, so i decided to put Ikjun's brown socks on my bare feet. I walked to the glass door, opening a little space for closer look at the rain. Sitting there manifest the rain sounds make my mind feels so calm by hearing it. The scents of the grass with the raindrops mixed with fragments Ikjun left on his blue shirt that i wear right now. A combination of smells that i never thought existed in this world, and i love it.

I'm looking at the ring on my finger, the ring Ikjun gave when he asked me to move in with him a months ago. Sounds like a proposal to me. Well, he didn't asked me to marry him directly, i did. I feel like my heart has been compelled by his sight when i asked him. But i know clearly why he didn't asked, instead he told me that he wants me to move in with him. He knew i don't feel like to step up my life into marriage, i knew he's a bit hesitant if he popped up that question to me, I'll probably feel a bit overwhelmed. But i remember in one of our morning when he holds me, he said he wants to spend every morning wake up beside me for the rest of his life just made me realize that i want the same thing.

I remember his face when i asked him. His puppy eyes with a glimpse of smile in the corner of his lips, the nerves he got when i walk slowly reaching his hand, the moment i know that my heart always belongs to him, that i know i don't want to get married unless it's him. As i stroke his hand, i said "will you marry me ?" He was stunned when he heard me, but when i smile, he smiled back and leaning down slowly to whisper against my lips before kissing me passionately "I will, I'm gonna marry you Chae Songhwa"

"Aren't you cold?"

I turn around to see he's already stood there behind me, leaning down to sit and hugging me with his blanket still covered him. The scrape of his unshaved chin against my shoulder makes me tingling a bit as i turn around my head to kiss him.