When Perfect Meets Crazy

19.5 - Through his eyes (Bonus)

She was beyond drowsy and very much out of it. It showed in the way her smile drooped, in the way her words slurred and most importantly, in the way she was being far too honest and just a bit vulnerable.

He was getting a peek into the little girl inside.

Thanks to the meds, she wasn't her normal calm, controlled and collected self. She wasn't trying to be perfect Avy Johnson, bordeline genius and all-round trophy child.

But in that moment, to his enthralled gaze, she was beyond perfect. Perfect should've tried to be her in his opinion.

"So why did you do it?" he continued.

"Because." She smiled lazily. It was the most goofy expression he had ever seen on her and if he wasn't currently seeing it with his own eyes, he would've sworn she was incapable of it.

"Because," she repeated, giggling to herself. "If I don't, someone else will have to. And by someone, I mean Olly but I love her too much. Aren't I an amazing older sister?"

The smile on her upturned face reminded him of his younger sister. It was full child-like innocence and a longing for validation.

Something in his chest squeezed.

"Olly will have to do that girl's dirty work? No offense but Olly looks like she can handle a bully just fine," he said.

"No." She waved her hand excessively. "No. No," she repeated, pulling the covers up to her chin. "No. Not Claire. Nobody cares about Claire. You're not getting it..." Her eyes lazily drifted shut as she trailed off.

She was quickly falling into dreamland.

He was losing this opportunity. Thanks to it, he now knew why she went to the arena -because Olly wanted to-, why she didn't scream when she found him in her room -she didn't think she would come out unscathed if her mom saw him since he wasn't middle aged and unattractive-, what she would do if she could do anything for a day -skydive, fall in love and spend what was left of the day at an amusement park 'like in the movies'- and finally, why she acted the way she did.

By God, he really hoped she would conveniently forget this entire conversation come morning because he couldn't picture a version of reality where she wouldn't be super pissed at him for taking advantage of her lapse in sound judgement and reaction to the meds.

"What am I not getting, Avy?" he asked, lightly shaking her awake.

Her eyelids fluttered open and for the first time, he noticed that she had thick pretty lashes.

She blinked.

"Hmmm?" she hummed, her disoriented gaze slowly settling on him.

"Your face is so close," she mumbled, pushing his face away and almost blinding him with her finger in the process. "I like your werewolf brows. Have I ever told you?"

"Anyway," she continued before he could reply. He was too busy rubbing at the eye she almost poked out anyway. "It's not about Claire. It's about my mom. My family." She yawned.

"What about your family?"

"Do you really think I enjoy never having a free weekend? Or having three after school jobs?" she slurred.

He shrugged.

To be honest, he got the feeling she kind of did.

"No." She scoffed. "I don't. Well..." she trailed off, brows furrowing in concentration as she struggled to keep her eyelids open. "I kind of do now... but!" she exclaimed, wagging a finger at him. "I didn't before. It was tiring but my mommy needs a child to mold to perfection and my dad needs a child to terrorize and second guess his every move." Her mouth opened in a wide unflattering yawn. "Sometimes I think he might be... not okay." Her eyes closed as she pressed a finger to the side of her forehead, turning it in circular motions.

"You know?" she went on, slowly forcing her eyelids open as if the motion alone took that much effort. "I feel like he might be bipolar or something but... oh well. What was I saying again?"

Her gaze couldn't seem to focus on him. If he has to guess, he would've said she was having double vision again.

"Yes," she nodded groggily, "the perfect child for my parents. They need that and if it's not me, it'll be Olly."

She snuggled into the covers, eyelids at half-mast.

"So it has to be me. I can handle it. I'm better equipped to."

She yawned again, turning away from him.

"Olly is a free spirit. She'll be miserable," she slurred.

In the silence that followed, her breathing deepened and evened out as she curled into foetal position.

"I can handle it," she whispered softly in her sleep.

As he fixed the covers so her feet were no longer hanging outside, he knew he was very much in trouble. She was far more dangerous than he initially thought but for very, very different reasons.

Yes, she was what he thought in that she was a girl with secrets and that she could and was used to slaying dragons but contrary to what he thought, he wasn't one of her dragons. She wasn't out to get him. She wasn't rolling with criminal kingpins and druglords. He was wrong on that account but more than that, he could tell she was tired. That she was just hanging on till she could get out. She was living half a life, burying her impulses and ignoring any desires that didn't fit into what was expected of her.

He had thought that was just how she was but now, he knew it wasn't. He knew she wanted to lay down her arms and have her dragons slayed for her for just a minute. Or even just be acknowledged for it. She wanted to be seen.

He wasn't, not by any stretch of imagination, a caretaker or a lover and fixer of the broken. She wasn't even his type. Not even close but something warned him to tread carefully. That she could easily become anyone's type if they so much as paid attention.

With his heart pounding just a little harder, he snuck out the window.

The man already said she was cleared. The deep dive into her and her family had not turned up anything suspicious.

He no longer needed to follow her around. That was why he stayed away all week. To be honest, he had no reason to show up today.

He just wanted to.

Maybe it was for the best that she had been cleared. Maybe it was time to put some distance between them. He saw her more than he saw his girlfriend. That alone was a bad idea waiting to hatch.

"Good bye, Avy," he whispered with one last look over his shoulder before he crept away.

•••

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

So... do we love it? Or it is too much "honey"? I wrote it while I was hungry and sleep deprived so my judgement wasn't exactly the best.

Let me know your thoughts.

I know a lot of you wanted to read more of Masked Idiot's version of the story. I'm not so good with romance so let me know if I over did this part just a little or completely bombed it entirely.