Chapter 1:
“The first call is the most electrifying emotion that I’ve ever felt in life”-Menalyn U. Dumayas.
Have you encounter an emotion or feeling that is beyond on how or you can handle? How did you manage or how as your first encounter to God? How does He do His calling for you? I don’t know how religious I am back then or what is my beliefs is. I often hear His name “Apo Diyos (a Iloco word)””God””Ama (Tagalog word)” there are lot of ways on how people address Him but for me I don’t even know what to call Him on how can I. I was just being ask to try and attend a Sunday service by my sister who is also a new member there with my mom. At first I don’t know if I want to go but I still went and it was unexpected and overwhelming first encounter.
I’m spending my time to foolishness and worldly freedom. I’m know Him but I don’t believe His existence. I thought He is just a fictional hero that everyone was admiring and worshiping. It was like meeting my first love and He got my attention, in a way that it was like a piece of a publish story that has already been planned and written. I don’t have much memories of having time calling Him nor thinking about Him. I grow without knowing who is He and what part of a life He exist. It was quite hard to follow such a calling, I am afraid and empty. I don’t know where I can start following His footstep. I was full of laughter and happiness when I felt His calling. I went to Him without burden knowing that I don’t believe in such thing.
I entered to a new environment, it’s quite thrilling and awkward. Yeah, it was very hard start. I can feel my flesh is like being electrified, my bones felt cold, my heart is like a horse racing in the field, my mind has been cleared and my eyes watered. I never felt this kind of emotion. Upon hearing songs that stating who He is, what He is capable of, what contribution He has done to the world my heart almost like a melted ice cream. I felt like my soul was being cleanse and reborn. It’s hard to catch up things as it still my first encounter.
While everyone is crying and praying, I don’t feel anything I just observe. While everyone was raising their hands and I taught and ask do I also need to do that? I can’t even open my mouth is being dried and my palm was wet. It’s like a first date and first encounter to a love one. I got nervous wondering how will I react to all these new things. I started lifting my hands, shut my eyes and talk to Him through my mind but I’m still doubting on Him. It’s my first and honestly I was hoping to hear an answer. It was like moving in to the quietest and most satisfying place, I saw light even if I don’t speak He heard my voice and I felt how He touch my heart. Tears flowing constantly, my body shakes. I stunned and let my soul speak unto Him. He held my hand, it was like the most comforting touch I’ve felt.
Hearing the words that He want us to know and learned is like a cultural shock but also realistic. I don’t know if I deserve such an opportunity. I’m still young and barely understand on how the world works and how my faith to Him will affect my life that I’m already used of. It was never easy decision to walk with Him as I don’t know what other will tell me and how it will develop me or make my way of living will be.
I told Him that I may not be worth of His attention because I’m just nothing but He smiled and it was like erasing all the burdens inside me. As I lived without Him and now I’m suddenly here talking to Him is was so unrealistic and I can’t imagine myself that now I’m in situation breaking my own perspective and beliefs in religious and Him. But His first calling was the most unforgettable emotion that I felt and it was beyond amazing. I’m being grateful and overwhelmed. Wondering how amazing the sequence of how I got to know Him and how He delivers His calling.
“An unexplainable emotion, an emotion that doesn’t exist nor had definition as it was only for those who felt it and accept it.”-Menalyn U. Dumayas
