Hint of Purple

Love!

Reading about love has built a magical world where I would swim in it for days. I would imagine the grass beneath my feet as I frolicked through the sea of red, orange, pink, yellow, and specks of glitter to bedazzle my world. The sun rays sets on my skin, warm enough to shine golden, but cool enough that I stand underneath it for hours to soak it all in. Then I would take a deep breath in, and the sweet scent of flowers would fill up my lungs with clean air and pure joy. I would hear an angelic voice call out my name, and I turn towards the sound, then have everything come to a standstill; my world becomes ours.

I knew that my soulmate was out there, thinking of our happily ever before, during, and after. They were probably thinking of me as I was about them, wondering if I'm sleeping at this exact moment, or if I'm having lunch at our future favorite restaurant, and maybe I was at some point! Because I think of all these tiny subplots in the book of us. I revel in the unwritten chapters of our love story that will plant seeds of envy in everyone's hearts. We will be happy and in love, nothing else will matter! Sigh.

Love is so wonderful, it gives me wings and takes me soaring above the skies and rainy clouds. It gives me the sun at the palm of my hands so I could embrace its warmth against my heart. It provides me the very breath I take once I resurface from the calm ocean waves. And all these emotions multiplied once my heart helplessly gave itself to the person that was going to be my forever. Their smile, their laughter, their voice; it was the fuel I needed to live on.

They were fantastic! They made me laugh and cry and giggle like a lovesick puppy and and and—

They loved another.

But...

B-But...this was supposed to be our fairytale love story! It was supposed to be me and them and the world wouldn't exist without each other!

Hmph.

No matter! I'll find another, one who will cherish me with every fiber of their being! Yes! And we will have a better fairytale love story than the previous one.

And oh, I did! I found them and they found me; starry-eyed and with blooming flowers in my chest. Two incomplete souls yearning for one another. The floating sensations, the butterflies, the shy smiles, the undeniably magnetic meet-cute; yes! This was the beginning, this was the rest of our happily ever—

But they loved another.

Oh....

Oh. I see...there's some sort of pattern here both my head and my heart aren't completely comprehending. Is it my fault? Am I doing anything that would repel their feelings instead of attracting it to our magnetic field? Is the kingdom that I built too rose-tinted for their liking? Is the love story I crafted puts too much pressure on their shoulders?

Is my hopeful little heart not worthy of their love?

No.

No! That's ridiculous. I'm sure my soulmate's out there somewhere! I will swim across dreadful oceans, I will trek through dark forests, I will climb impossible mountains; just so I could find my better half! Because they're out there! THEY ARE OUT THERE. And they will hear my mating call!

And after all the travel I've done, I've finally found them! It was a blissful relief to have them in my arms, against my skin, forever in my heart. It was amazing! We laugh together, we cry together, and we love together. We are together. We will be together. No matter what. They will take care of our love, of our kingdom, of our happily ever-after. We will continue to build our world with rainbow forests, pink oceans, vast green lands, and several beautiful creatures. Yes, we will do all of that because they promised. They promised me forever.

Then they left.
They stopped loving me.
They never loved me.

Ha! Ha...Ha.

What is love but an illusion? An utter farce with the face of a deceitful, mesmerizing devil that enticed the sins of an emotion that created nothing but an empty shell of a soul.

Hmph.

Perhaps I was in denial of the notion that love hurts even if it's so damn beautiful—gasp, I shouldn't curse. Love was wonderful and majestic and beautiful!

Love is...a wonderful fairytale!

But...

That's the problem isn't it?

It's just a fairytale