Book 1:The Adventures of Larry

Chapter 1: The Harvest Festival

In the Beggining

Larry woke up to another typical day of life living in the sand box. The sand box was the garden (more like eroding turf of crap-infused dirt). All the melons lived in the sand box. The melons knew where the savest place on earth was, and that was...the sand box. But there was a cost for the melon citizens if they were to live in the sand box in safety. Every 2 melon years, (3 months in human years) there was a sacrificial event called the harvest Festival that all the melons had to participate in.

The melons called the beings in charge of the sacrifice, "the Abductors". The Abductors would randomly select a melon, remove him (or her depending on their butt) from the patch, and take them to a far away land never to be seen again by the other melons. 

The abducting would take place tomorrow, but Larry didn't care. He never had been abducted yet, and the chances of being abducted were slim. 

Day 1 Before the Harvest

Larrie's Journal entry: "Today was great! The blanket was once again blessed thanks to the sacrifices of the Harvest. A space cow landed in the sand box territory and produced a massive dump of tastey poop. Everybody loves poop! Man, that pile o' crap was eaten before i could run to a toilet and poop myself! I still have some of dat poop gurgling in my stomach. Good times. I hope Nick gives me back my socks that he used. Kinda need those to wipe, but since Nick lost his, i thought i could just let him borrow mine. No big deal."

Day of the Harvest Festival

It was a peaceful day in the sand box. The sand box residents were happily going along in their merry making in such acitvities of talking, mingling, playing, doing laundry, eating, having breakfast, sporting, dancing, singing, shouting, yelling, kids fighting, screaming, organizing in groups and then screaming, mosh pitting, rioting, looting like the black residents who lived in Ferguson Missorie, car flipping, projectile pooping, projectile vomiting, projectile urinating, revolting, murdering, doing naughty things with bodily powers that creates children, mass murders, gang formation, anarchy, overthrowing governments, mass genocide of a melon race, causing planetary destruction, and for the more horrible melons, drinking coffee because that is against the word of wisdom. It was a good typical day in the Sand Box. 

But suddenly, clouds rolled in from the West... It got very grey all of the sudden. The sun was blocked out. It began to rain. Thunder boomed in the distance. Omninous music started playing; the type of music that plays when your watching a little girl doll slowely turn its corrupt face towards you in a horror movie, which will likely force your butt cheeks to give out and you seriously crap your slacks. A light drizzle commences. Black crows cawed up above. A chill wind blew. All of the sudden, it was silent in the Sand Box. The children stopped fighting. Babies started wailing, people stopped flipping cars and starting riots down the streets. All the melons were aware of the change in atmosphere. THEN THEY ALL KNEW....... 

All the melons organized themselves in the center of the Sand box. Then, the melons heard noise. It was the noise of the abductors far off in the distance. They were coming for the melons....

Off in the distance! A stampede of little children who came to participate in the harvest festival!!! They were collosal giants compared to the melons and their village. They grinned with a devilish grin filled with braces and malice. They beemed their beedy eyes at the melons. They laughed and giggled. You could almost say they were as abominable as my friggin next door neighbors!!!!!

Larry quacked in his place where all the melons were organized. Suddenly, the ring leader of all the children, a grubby fat ginger with freckles, curly red hair, and his butt crack showing, bent down (thus making his crack reveal enough to attract the other children's little eyes) and clasped Larry! It was the feaking climax of the music! He hoisted Larry into his arms. Larry was in a frenzy of panic. we whispered, "oh spit man, OH SPIT!!!!!!!! OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH SSSSSPPPPPPIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!" The children with Larry stampeded off into the distance, and thus the Harvest Festival sacrifice was fulfilled. The clouds and thunder and music subsided, and the happy music  in lord of the rings and the hobbit  during the scene of the shire was playing. The residents were happy, and they peacefully returned to their dayly affairs of plundering, drinking coffee, forming gangs, doing naughty things with bodily powers that makes children, and other peaceful recreational activities. Nobody would miss Larry. Best of all, Nick got to keep Larry's used socks.