Book 1:The Adventures of Larry

Chapter 4: Gone with the Hobo

Exerpt from Larri'es Journal

"After being revived by my nurturing white seed lodged in a nutritious turd, I became Captain Larry of the S.S. Turd. I was Ejected from my capture's intestines and flushed myself into the sewer systems. I continue to to grow inside the poop supply i was granted by the abductor's butt. As I float along in this poop/urine slurry, I can't help but notice how relaxed i am colliding with other sausage turds and plunging ahead into the deep dark sewer solution at ...a  very fast speed.  Will I ever see my fellow melon's again? What is my future? What is my fate and destiny? Where will the poop slurry express take me? "

End of Exerpt

Little did Larry know that he would not be in the sewer systems for long. Because at the end of these particular pipes is a water purification plant which filters sewer water and empties it into a river. Larry didn't want to be purified. He was happy where he was, growing out of a solid floating poop in a sewer. 

The sewer opened up into a whole underground tunnel. The sewer slurry became like a slow moving river, and next to it was solid concrete floors with half broken lights that flickered and a metal ladder that led to the sewer grates which meant the city. Then Larry heard a voice. It was a very faint voice. "Preeeeeciooooouuuuuuussss". He heard it again, "WE WANTS IT! THE P-P-PRECIOUUUUS!!!" Into Larry's view is a scraggley, boney, skinny hobo on all fours with only a small loin cloth to cover his junk and a back pack cackling to himself and reminiscing about his precious. Infront of the hobo lay his precious, a magnum 42-Pistol."Is it tassssssssstey? Is it SSSSSCRUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMPIOUUUUUUSSS!?!??!? Is it juicy? Or does it go CCCRUUUUNNNNCHHHHH!1/?!??" Also neighboring our friend the hobo was the corpse of a police officer who had several bullet holes all over his chest. His eyes were missing (and very tastey according to precious). Then he looked up. And he saw captain Larry the sprout plantling. They gazed into each others eyes for a good 4.35 seconds. THEN THEY NEW!!!! The hobo dropped his precious and swan dived into the sewer water. He plucked Larry right out of the poop he was growing in. The hobo climbed back onto the cement on all fours and the two got to know each other. The hobo's name was MEAGOL. They didn't become friends. They were BROTHERS!!!  They shared the same destiny. 

Meagol knew that Larry wanted to grow back to his fat melon-like self instead of being a sproutling. So Meagol used his magic. He threw back his head and howled and screamed. He threw off his loin cloth and began to do ancient ritual dances of his former peoples. He readied his body. He squatted over Larry and gave out one last blood curling scream so loud it made the 9/11 terrorists cover their ears while flying the plane, lost control of the plane, and instead, loop around and crashed into the Sandy Hook Elementary School. HAHA!!!!! 

While Meagol was doing his super sonic scream, he started farting rainbows on the sproutling Larry. After the rainbows seceded, Larry felt a shaking in his tummy. Then he really felt it! All of the sudden, Larry started to grow. But not into a melon, but a Melon Man! He was a humanoid melon, with legs, hands, arms, and a handsome sexy body very similar to Meagols. Yet his body was still hard and green. Meagol reached into his backpack and gave Larry a cool hot pink loin cloth. Their destinies being innertwined, they set off to fulfill their destinies. 

They quickly climbed up the metalladder like monkeys and lifter the sewer grate lid. They were in the middle of a busy street in Mexico City. This meant their nationalities were Mexican!!! However, they had to fulfill their destinies. They climbed out of the sewer only to find zooming rusty old cars going this way and that! (the cars are rusty and old of course because there is nothing of quality in mexico.) Meagol pulled out precious. Precious saw an old white pickup truck with tools in the back of it. The truck had two laborous mexicans inside it unaware of the presence of Larry, Meagol, or the precious. Precious took aim and shot both mexicans! Way to go Precious!!!!!! After eating their delicous eyes, Meagol and Larry climbed into the nastey white pickup truck full of tools in the back. They set course to the North.