Day 1 (after the Harvest Festival)
An Exerpt From Larry's Journal:
"I woke up unconcious the day I was selected for the Harvest Festival. I was laying on a cutting board in an abductor's kitchen. It was aweful there. There was a bright light turned on which ached my eyes. I was dazed and confused. I needed to pee. My cheeks were also pleading for my approval and my exhortion for them to release their cargo from within the rectum. Oh how uncomfortable my situation was. Why was I selected to be the melon of the Harvest Festival? In walked in a nastey old lady. She grinned at me with a horrible smile filled with cigarette butts and yellow teeth. "Im gonna each you ya little gert!" she chattered! I did't want to be eaten!
She whipped out a Cutco knife Drew just had to sell to her. She rotated my hard shelled green body so that my face was pressed against the cutting board and my whimpering cheeks (about to give out any time soon) were facing her and her beady eyes. What happended next i hope doesn't happen to anybody else.
The cutco knife was driven right down the middle of the crack between my poor cheeks. I shrieked, and i cried, and i panicked, and i knashed my teeth! The old lady kept on SHREIKING," GET SHREKED! GET SHREKED LITTLE MELON! HAHAHAHAH!!!!" The sheer velocity of the driving knife made my cheeks give out. A record projectile pooping occured and hit her square in the blouse. But she did'nt care. The knife was driven further down my soft, vulnerable interior. AHHHHH! MY JUICES!!! WHYYYYYYYY? MY ORGANS!!!!! WHYYYYY!?!?!?! MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!!!" -End of excerpt
Larry was divided in two. Half his face on one side, half on the other. One relieved cheek on one side, one relieved cheek on the other. How could such a terrible thing happen to Larry? Larry lay there like a vegetable although he was a fruit. Life slowely slipped away from Larri'es divided body, and he passed on. Larry was finished. He was dead.
The old lady shrieked with laughter, and he hobbled over to her cd player and put in "Kid's Bop".
Aweful music emitted from the device, music so terrible one could return to the Sandy Hook Elementary school and start shooting more... Oh, sorry. Got carried away with my emotions.
The abductors were being summoned, including the fat ginger. they beaded their beady little eyes upon the lifeless corpse of Larry. They licked their chops like wolves. They snarled and howled, and they grinned at the treat they would be getting.
The old lady started a count down from 10
the children got down on all fours and readied their energetic little bodies for feasting time.
3
2
1
0
They SPRANG! AND LIKE STARVEN COYOTES DID THE MAGGOT INFESTED CHILDREN CHOW DOWN ON THE TWO HALFS OF LARRIE'S CORPSE! OH HOW LIPSMACKING LARRY TASTED. IT WAS A GOOD HARVEST FESTIVAL AFTER ALL!!
All that remained of poor Larry was scraps of his green shell, torn, tattered, bitten, chewed on. The abductors subsided back into the wilderness outside of the house, and the old lady got in her car and drove away to some smoker's lounge with her poop-stained blouse on.
Larry was finished. What remained of him was in the trash can, or was being digested.
Yessssss, he was being digested......
This was not the end of Larry....
YOU ARE READING
Book 1:The Adventures of Larry
HumorWhen Larry the melon is chosen for the harvest among the melons in the melon patch, he embarks on an adventure while meeting many people and making friends. But what he doesn't know, is how our destinies are intertwined with the universe! Will his l...
