Book 1:The Adventures of Larry

Chapter 6:What is Destiny

Exerpt from the All-Knowing Mind of Meagle:

"yess... YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! It is ours, the rocketsess! Precious loves these rocketsess."

End of Exerpt

Exerpt from Captain Larry:

"We hijacked the latest space ship for NASA's Apollo 12 mission. STUPID HUMANS!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE! All humans are stupid. Meagle is all knowing. Meagle is more than a brother. He is my Allah! With this space ship, we can land on an uninhabited planet to begin our destiny." End of Exerpt

Flying in the space ship, Meagle looked out the window. He saw a male stripper crotch chopping ontop of a ship. He saw a green, lush, civilized planet with several moons orbiting around the planet. Meagle used his super-rainbow vision to see what species had inhabited the planet. "HUMANSES!" raged Meagle. He picked up a rock on the floor in his room in she space ship. He pretended the rock was a human. He urinated on the rock. He gave the rock a swirly. He pooped on the rock. He gave the rock a swirly. He gave the rock a swirly while pooping in the toilet so the poo collided with the rock while the rock was getting a swirly. Meagle was in a rage. He ran around the space ship messing up the beds and hissing and pooping everywhere. He began to squat down and slap his own cheeks ferociously until they were red. The slapping of the cheeks sent dopanine hormones to Meagle's brain which made Meagle happier and calmed him down. 

All of the sudden, a SAM missle launched from planet Clutac hits the space ship. "Oh spit man! OHHHH SPPPITT!" Larry shouts. "WHAT IS BAGGINSES!!!?!?!??!" shouts Larry. Larry is flipping out. Meagle removed his garment. Now Meagle is crapping out. The space ship is falling towards Planet Clutac. 

Sirens are wailing like a baby who just got his head chopped of by a sickle. Red lights are flashing like the way Meagle's anus does when he is about to take a  dump. Meagle and Larry get down on all fours and break out in a sprint towards the escape pods. When they get there, there is only one escape pod. 

"MASTTERS MUST GO!!!! howls Meagle. "No Meagle. I have lived a good long life. I have happily lived in the litter box for a good long while. Nick, whom i was secretly gay for, got to keep my socks. I was selected for the harvest. I had a Cutco knife shoved down my butt crack cutting me open. I was eaten by grubby children. I was reincarnated within my consumer's colon. I was gleefuly ejected from an anus inferior to your anus, Meagle. I met you Meagle. I ran away from police. I hopped a border with you, my brother, Meagle. I got to hijack this space ship with you Meagle. We are about to die Meagle. I lived a good long life. NOW GOOOO!" Meagle was pushed into the escape pod and the escape pod door locked. "MASTERS! NOOOOO!!!!!" Super dramatic/depressing music plays. Meagle starred out the window. The whole space ship was rumbling and breaking up right now. Larry looked back at Meagle and they locked eyes. Larry put his hand on the window. Larry was expecting to have a really dramatic sad moment with Meagle, but instead, Meagle equips a pair of sad puppy face eyes and then flipps off Larry. The escape pod is ejected from the space ship. 

Larry looks back towards the space ship. It explodes creating a supernova. Melon chunks fly everywhere, some of them splatter on Larry's escape pod window. Meagle is flipping out now. He is truely hissing and pooping all about his pod. He was as sad as Gollum in The Hobbit when he lost his precious. But of course, Meagle is in no way related to Gollum whatsoever. Right guys? 

Meagle looks at the planet that he will shortly be landing on. On the planet was a tree like city that had a base trunk supporting all sorts of other buildings on top. Meagle's space pod however looked as if it would be landing about an eighth of the planet away. 

The space pod created a fire field around it as it sliced through the wind. Everything was a blur because the escape pod was moving soooo freaking fast. The escape pod continued to gain speed. It was moving at 3.235563910292490458204853944593285043523345843930503573495092801234798049 mph! It is really fast because there are alot of place values in that number! 

The space pod hit the ground. An explosion as big as when the Ukraine Chernoble reacter exploded erupts from the impact site. A crater the size of URANUS (hehe) was formed around the escape pod. Debree was falling everywhere as if i was standing underneath one of the twin towers that a friggin muslim drove an airplane into. (FOR ALLAH!!!)  

Meagle walked out of the space pod completely unharmed. He looked around him. There was lots of green grass, trees, and fresh air. Meagle took a deep breath breathing it all in. Apes swung around in the trees. Meagle walked back to the escape pod. There was a big fat hunk of Larry's melon guts on the window of the pod. Meagle mourned over his loss. He tossed aside his lowsey pistol and grapped a handful of Larry's guts. He looked up to the sky and yelled, "BY TRUUUU PRECIOUSSSS!!!!" Meagle wanted to cherish what left he had of Larry forever. So he scooped them up and inserted it inbetween his sexy loin cloth and his junk. Now he had Larry with him forever. 

All of the sudden, Meagle hears voices. Its the sound of a bunch of black guys charging at them with nets and guns. Meagle hisses at them. He couldn't find the gun he just tossed aside. He and the  apes try to make a run for it, but they were unsuccessful. The black men had superior technology. They aimed their net guns at Meagle and the apes. They fired their net guns, and Meagle and the apes were entangled in nets. "LOOOOSSST!!! BAGGINSES!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!! WEEE HATESSS YOUUUU!" shouted Meagle as the black guys dragged thrashing Meagle and howling monkeys away in nets towards the rusty beatup-old jeep they had. (because black guys can't afford something nice. Lets be real guys.) Meagle was upset. He looked at Larry's flesh located inbetween his junk and loin cloth. He still cared for Larry, but things have now changed for Meagle. Something snapped inside him. He stopped talking like a stupid corrupt hobbit. Freaking epic music starts playing which is intence enough to make your cheeks give out right now and take a big fat dump in your pants right where you stand. He looked at the other panicking apes. "that is who I am. That is my new destiny." remarks Meagle. But he didn't even want to be called Meagle anymore. His name was undignified and cowardly. His new name would be Maeser. yessssss. Maeser would be the ruler of the apes. That was his new destiny. Maeser would never be happy. He would transform both physically, mentally, and psychologicaly. 

The fat blacks gleefully drove away in the jeep ravinously feasting on KFC. The jeep drove on, drove on, closer, closer, closer, to the tree-designed city with a blood red sun setting in the background.

MEANWHILE: BACK AT THE SAND BOX: NICK IS AGGRESSIVELY WIPING HIS CHEEKS WTIH LARRI'ES SOCKS AND HAS WASHED THEM AND IS HANGING THEM OUT TO DRY. WILL THEY, OR WILL THEY NOT BE STOLEN BY A BLACK FERGUSON????? 

 

THIS ENDS BOOK ONE OF THE SERIES :D