Tori|
She thought I was sleeping. She thought I didn't hear her.
My heart is a swollen lump in my throat as I look at her. Sleeping, relaxed, all the usual tension that coils in her brows and her lips smoothed out by the gentle hand of sleep. Black and blue wisps of hair drape across her cheek, over her nose. Slowly, very carefully, I pinch a few of them and draw them back, behind her ear. Jade shifts, lips parting in a hum of a sigh, and then she's still again, the blankets rising and falling with her even breathing.
She told me she loved me. She whispered it into the cave of my ear before pressing her nose into my hair and sinking into dreams. Her arm was around my waist. I was trying not to cry.
She loves me. Jade West loves me.
I had considered rolling over, telling her I love her too (because I do, more than anything, I do) but I knew she had done so under the safe theory that I was asleep and couldn't hear her. She's not ready to say it to my face yet and that's okay. I'll wait. I'm more than willing to do that for her after what I put her through last night. I hate seeing her cry, making her upset, but it was necessary. I had to make her see. I had to make her understand.
My eyes close. I breathe in the smell of her, her bedroom, her blankets, and feel her swim in my bloodstream. Last night comes to me in bright flashes of color - Jade's white skin, red mouth, green eyes. A kaleidoscope explodes on my eyelids.
It was slow. It was careful. It was Jade trying to show me what she can't put in words yet.
I smile into the pillow. I definitely deciphered the message. I drift forward and press my lips to her brow, feel her sigh against me, and whisper, "I love you, too."
Pulling back the blankets, I sit up. We're both still naked - which is weird, because I don't feel naked here, or maybe naked doesn't feel the way I thought it would, all uncomfortably revealing and nerves, or maybe it's just because of the girl sleeping beside me. I lean down and dump out my tote on the floor, clothes spilling out. Driving to Jade's house without my clothes on was terrifying - I thought that if I were to ever get pulled over, it would have to be the time I drive with just a coat on - but drastic measures were necessary. I lucked out, certainly, but I happen to think that nearly every aspect of my relationship with Jade has been purely because of luck.
It's not quite yet ten in the morning. It's Sunday. I pull on a pair of jeans and a wrinkled shirt with a grungy band symbol on it and shake my fingers through my hair. Twisting to face Jade again, I think about waking her up, but the longer I stare at the peace that so rarely takes over her, I can't bring myself to. Standing, I make my way to the stairs and climb them slowly, peeking out of the basement door before stepping into the hallway. I forget how huge Jade's house is until I'm alone. The high ceilings and spacious walls makes everything feel far away, or like I'm shrinking, like Alice in the rabbit hole. The refrigerator hums distantly. A clock ticks somewhere, growing closer as I follow the dimly lit passageways to the kitchen. The floor cracks beneath my feet on my way to the cupboard. I pull a glass and fill it from the fridge's fountain, releasing a wet-lipped sigh as the cold water chases the dryness of sleep away.
There are footsteps behind me. I grin, turning around. "I was going to wake you up but -"
I nearly drop the glass.
"Oh." Jasmine touches her throat. "I thought you were Jade."
"I, uh -" I swallow and flinch a smile. "I thought you were her, too."
Something twitches across her lips. I wouldn't call it a smile, but she doesn't look like she wants to toss me out of a window like the last time we were alone in a room together. I'm still terrified of her, even though she appears considerably less strict this time around. She's in dark, skin-hugging jeans with an olive jacket. Her hands are in the pockets and with her hair pulled back the way it is, it's impossible not to see Jade in her.
