Saved By Her (GxG)✅

11

>*Tw for this chapter. Topics include self harm, suicide and abuse*<

Rachel sat next to me unsure of what to do. I took initiative and mid breakdown moved into her lap, nuzzling into her neck as she stroked my back up and down.
I broke down in her arms and she held me through all of it.

In a raspy voice, through tears, I spoke,
"I'm sorry for this. Can we go to bed and I'll explain?"

I moved to get up off her but she just picked me up as if I weighed nothing.

"No apologies my love. Come on. Let's go cuddle angel."

She laid me down and got in next to me and I immediately cuddled into her.

"You make me feel so safe. Like when I'm in your arms nothing can happen to me."

"That's good my love. I'll always protect you baby. I know you can protect yourself but I want to be there to protect you."

"About the breakdown.." I took a deep breath in.

>*An: TW*<

"Baby we don't have to talk about it."

"No I want to. I might need a hug or two inbetween."

She squeezed me and kissed my head.

"So you know my mum and sister died and that I was abused? You know how but you don't know details."

She nodded and I continued.

"Physically I was a punching bag. If I didn't do the dishes I was beat. If I didn't clean I was beat. If I breathed in the wrong direction I was beat. I got used to it after a while."

"So the scars on your legs?"

"Beatings and razor."

She tightened get grip around me.

"Emotionally and mentally I was constantly sworn and yelled at. Belittled. Degraded. Stuff like that. And sexually..."

"Baby we can talk about this some other time."

"No. Now. Anyway. It started about a year after their deaths. Maybe less? My dad, he uh came home drunk. He thought I was my mother. It was so painful Rach..." I wiped a few tears that had accumulated "...he realised it was me. Freya. And not my mum but he still carried on. Then my brother joined him. At one point it was almost an everyday thing. I attempted suicide a few times because of it but I'm glad I'm here. I have triggers. I don't know all but I know a few. Hugs from behind. That scratchy beard feeling against my neck. The heavy breathing. But not all trigger me at the same time and not at all times. Like I can sit on your lap and I'm fine. And I have no problem getting on my knees for you. Hypothetically. With time some stuff will go away."

By the end of it I was full on crying.

"Ssssh my angel. I'm right here okay? I got you baby and I'm never letting anything happen to you again. Thank you for sharing that with me my love."

"I also don't like being called darling or princess."

"That's okay my sweet girl. I love you baby."

"I love you too."

"How are you feeling baby? Wanna take a nap?"

I nodded.

"Do you want me to stay or?"

"Baby I always want you to stay."

She nodded and took her glasses off.