Betty & James

Chapter 9: seven

"Katie! Run faster!" Katie then started to sprint around the running track at the school gym. Listening and following our coach's commands.

"August...Why are you still here? Is there a problem?" The co-cheer captain asked me. She noticed I was just watching my best friend and the squad doing practice and did not bother to join them.

"Yeah...I don't feel well. I don't think I can practice today or tomorrow. I won't be able to join the squad at the football game."

"More like your pregnant right? Inez might be a gossip girl, but damn! Why would she post about you and James? You don't deserve to be involved in this scandal. The school might even kick the three of you out because of it."

"Don't worry Marzie. I'm not pregnant at all... I just don't know why James ever approached me at the canteen a few months ago. I know maybe it is cuz Inez is a bitch." Marzie tried her best to cheer me up. It wasn't working... She wasn't ready to hear my problem. Nobody ever deserves to know it...

James deserves to...

He just became so unreachable.
Someday, I'll be far away...

Maybe to India?

𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗!

𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎...
𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝.
I'm not sure anymore...
Uncertain about what should I decide for my future.
Everything about him made me feel upset and my self-worth felt horrible right now.
Marzie noticed that I just continued to watch Katie Denver, my only friend who could understand me.

I know James loves Betty...
But I didn't mean to ruin their relationship. Is it really my fault that I have to fix it?
That I longed for James' touch, his eyes to stare into mine... I feel so awful that he can't win Betty back because of what happened between me and James.

And yes, I tried meeting James at the mall. He never came... He never answered my calls anymore. I am disconnected from his life, from his wonderful world that is so out of my league.

"But hey, August! Look, You have to participate in the school work too. Even if your best friend is cheer captain. You know what I mean... Katie right? The coach tells me that I may be suspended from practice if my grades keep failing. We all can help you. Especially if you need me." While Marzie was telling me this she tries to wave her hand in front of me to catch my attention.

It wasn't working...

Her help? How can I say to the school that James is going to be?

Wait to stop!
Stop it August!
August and James were never real!

James and Betty were...

And that is my own problem.
Betty was everything he wanted. Of course, it was never me. Never.

Never mine to love.

My heart started beating fast. Few days after taking the pregnancy test. I felt anxious.

All my what-ifs and loneliness were inside this brain of mine.

I walked away from the practice court. I decided to go to the locker room.

Then I noticed some snoring coming from the janitor's closet. I opened the door. To my surprise it was him.
James was there... He just was there sitting on the floor sleeping. He looked restless... as if he was waiting for me.

"James?" I tried to wake him up. Even if bothering James' sleep made me feel guilt in my throat. He opened his eyes and saw me.
"August..." He groaned and covered his eyes.

"Why are you here in the closet?"
James begins to look around and see if someone was behind him.

"I was hiding from Betty's new boyfriend. I fell asleep here which was safe enough. August... I don't know what to say to you anymore. I know I hurt you too and it's not all like what Betty felt towards me. Her boyfriend is so protective of her. The world scares me August. I can't even go to class today and pretended that I attended any classes today." James then covered his eyes. He was fighting his tears.

If only I didn't do it with him at prom night.

"It's okay James... Please forgive me too. I wish I could love you to the moon and Saturn."

I sighed... hoping he will reciprocate all my feelings for me.

But he'd never. His heart was for the popular girl I guess.

"What did you just say to me? I'm nothing. Nothing for you to love. Why pick me when you have a lot of guys crushing on you?"
Why do I ever love him?
Same question as to why this heart always longed for him for many months.
This surprised James for some reason. He was about to open his mouth again to speak.

He didn't respond. I didn't even say anything. We just stared at each other blankly. It was like there is a spark and we can't say our own feelings to each other.

Minutes later,
he began to smile.
Something came into his mind.

"August, You know what?"

"What?"

"I do kind of like you..."

"How come?"

"It's just that the day I saw you in the canteen... I wanted to help you. I know your ex-boyfriend went for Inez. And felt that Inez was the one who ruined everything... " He then sighed and take the hat from the shelf and went out of the closet. He then continued his eyes looking into mine.

Just the way I wanted to see it. His eyes, his smile, and everything about him.

"That gossip bitch never stopped talking. You were there... Someone who could help me and I could help you." He then grinned ear to ear. He then move closer to me and held both of my hands.
"We both know Betty was the one I love... Fate cannot change what I feel for her."

What he said broke me. It injured me deeply. Like a knife ran up to my hand and sent shivers down my spine.

I was right he never loved me. But what if I tell him the truth?

"I want you to know about something..."
Then James looked down. Looking at my soft hands that were on top of his.

"What is it August? You can tell me that later. Let's meet near the tree and swing close to my house..." He then hurried and left me. I didn't know what to do.

How can I tell him that he'll become a father?

This sucks!

What if he'll keeps me waiting?

I can't...
I just can't stop the tears from flowing down my face. The words he told me, kept me hurt and unrelieved.

All I thought is that I'll hit my peak at 7.

I'll meet him at 7:00 PM.