Make Me Beg [BL]

Chapter 7

QOTD: favorite song lyrics?

I feel weird.

A sigh fell from my lips as I stared up at my ceiling. Maybe conflicted was the right word. Sammy was curled up against my side, sleeping soundly like I was supposed to be. Maybe a little guilty.

I bit at my nails and in the back of my head, I could hear my mom's voice scolding me for the bad habit. Still, I continued to bite them.

I feel weird.

Dinner with Kyler was- weird? No- I made it weird.

He acted like he normally did. Why wouldn't he? It was as if I expected him to be able to read my conflicted thoughts and act just as nervous as I felt. But no, we had dinner as if it were any other night.

He asked about my day and I surprisingly didn't have much to say. Though, I was holed up in my room all day, there wasn't much to say anyways.

We still went on our daily run this morning but it was lacking it's normal conversation. My fault again. It was my day off, the only day I took off from working out, but Kyler still had work so I didn't see him until dinner.

It's been three long days since I forced myself to come to terms that yeah, I liked Kyler.

But I feel weird because, I like Rylan too.

I wasn't avoiding Kyler because there was no reason to, he didn't do anything. Though, I wasn't exactly seeking him out like I normally would. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. Kyler's smart, he probably noticed.

But he's nice too, so that's probably why he kept silent.

Yeah, he's really nice.

He's really nice to me.

Another sigh fell from my lips. Rylan's nice to me too.

I really liked Rylan, probably more than I've ever liked anyone. When I liked someone, I liked them hard. And if my actions came off a little obsessive, I never noticed.

I liked Rylan's voice a lot. It was soft, edging on sweet and reminded me of my mom. Kyler's was low and he usually spoke pretty quiet unless he was scolding me.

They both smelled nice, two of my favorite scents.

As I thought about them more, guilt slowly built in my stomach. I shouldn't really compare them. I wasn't sure why I was even doing it in the first place, I liked Rylan.

And I think he likes me too.

I liked holding hands with Rylan. I liked how he always entertained my random thoughts and threw in some of his own.

He started sending me random pictures of things, much like I did. Something he found pretty, something he ate, pictures of him, and sometimes Lucas. Just to make me laugh, he'd try and recreate the picture I sent him first.