Gray Eyes, Johnny

Gray Eyes, Johnny 

"I'll have to stay here," Johnny said, rubbing his legs. "You go down the road and ask the first person you see where Jay Mountain is." He winced at the pain in his legs. "Then come back." I may have imagined it, but I swear that under his protective tone Johnny was pleading with me. Asking me to get back safe. "And for Pete's sake, run a comb through your hair and quit slouching down like a thug."

I pulled a comb from my back pocket and combed my hair carefully. "I guess I look okay now, huh, Johnny?" He was studying me with his big black eyes , so deep you could drown in them.

"You know, you look an awful lot like Sodapop, the way you've got your hair and everything. I mean, except your eyes are green."

"They ain't green, they're gray," I said, reddening. "And I look about as much like Soda as you do." I got to my feet. "He's good-looking." I pretended not to notice the way Johnny was staring at me.

"Shoot," Johnny said with a grin, "you are, too." I beamed, radiating pleasure, before snapping back to the beautiful boy standing in front of me, running his hands through his jet black hair. I climbed over the barbed-wire fence without saying anything else. I could hear Johnny laughing at me, but I didn't care. Why was he laughing at me?

I waited a few seconds, making sure to let my face cool down before turning back to Johnny, who wasn't laughing anymore. His face had grown pale, and he was staring at the switchblade in his pocket. "It's all gonna be okay," I whispered, "it's all gonna work itself out." Johnny nodded solemnly, but it looked like he was about to cry. Without a second thought, I jumped back over the wiry fence to comfort Johnny.

"I...I'm...Pony I don't know what to do..." He shuddered and wrapped his arms around his body, as if to shield himself from the world. Tiny droplets ran down his cheeks, splintering the walk below, and Johnny's usually tan face was looking a dangerous shade of white.

"It's gonna be a rough few weeks, but we're gonna make it home. We're gonna see the whole gang again, and it will get back to normal. We'll swing by the gas station with Sodapop and Steve, and cover for Dally when he does the things he oughta know not to," I gave Johnny a playful shove and a smile crept onto his tan face. But Johnny's expression darkened when he caught sight of Dally's gun, shaking at the memory of the crime he never wanted to commit. I let him lean on my shoulder, his tears soaking into the oversized shirt. And Johnny hardly ever cries.

"Johnny,"

"Yeah?" I became aware of how close we were sitting and did my best to hide the hunger in my eyes.

"You're pretty tough, you know that? And not just because you can take a punch, or throw one, but because you ain't afraid to show how you feel. Shit, I can never do that Johnny." He turned to face me, and I inhaled the smell of his jacket, before focusing on his face. Johnny seemed to be searching for some clue in my gaze, like I was a puzzle he just couldn't quite solve. I looked up at the stars, breaking our eye contact.

"Ponyboy, did you like that girl from the drive in? Cherry? She's gonna hate us now...fuck what have I..." The change of topic took me by surprise, so it took me a second to realize what Johnny was suggesting, and another after that to remember. The fountain, the switchblade, the pavement covered in her boyfriend's blood. Whatever friendship we might have had is surely gone.

I cast Johnny a reassuring look, even though this newest blow has hit me hard. "It's all gonna be okay Johnny, and a silly thing like that don't matter now. You know that."

"But...did you? You know...like her?" It came out as an inaudible whisper, as if he was afraid of my answer. I shook my head slowly, and his features relaxed.

"How 'bout you? Did you fancy that Marcia girl?"

Johnny sighed, "No Pony, not that Marcia girl. There's someone else." My stomach lurches and drops, as if I'm on a rollercoaster, letting the words sink in. Someone else. "They're really cool, trying to help everyone else out," great I thought, now he's just rubbing it in. "They have this awesome red hair, and their green eyes can make your heart skip a hundred miles a minute." Johnny's eyes were begging for me to understand, but all I could think was, this is the worst day of my life. Well, next to the day we found Johnny unconscious. I think back to our conversation about Sodapop...

And my face breaks out into a huge grin as the pieces finally click. "They're gray Johnny. I have gray eyes."