When I'm not sleeping, I know we go to cafe's and you talk. I remember some of the things you tell me, honestly.
I know I have good days even when I don't remember them sometimes.
Everyone's always saying it's going to get better but everything keeps getting worse;
The headaches haven't stopped still, and I don't understand why you're sitting here with me. I still adore you, but how do I know you.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Have I said anything?
"I love you, but I have a feeling this isn't going to last."
Your eyes widen at me like I did the impossible. My eyes are staring at you unknowingly and my throats sore from my random sentence.
Did you actually hear what I said or do you only know that I said something?
Your sweet lips to mine and the comfortable silence taking over once again, leaving me with strawberries and cigarettes.
I don't remember lying here next to you, or hearing your words before I left again.
Never sure if I'll really come back.
***
Random words are expected is what they said. The people with white coats and blue shirts. They smelt like rubber and sanitizer.
Your face didn't look so bright anymore but you still smiled at me while I stared at my shoes.
I didn't know what was happening, maybe I was getting better.
Before, they said the headaches will go away and I'll eat again.
I didn't eat before though and I never ate now. I know you trace my skin at night, ignoring the obvious and lose clothes.
I would tell you I loved you, even now.
I don't know you, and I love you.
My brain doesn't communicate with my heart but atleast something remembers your warm touch and soft smell.
You still remember me, you're still sitting here with me, still telling me stories even though I don't understand what you're saying all of the time.
I know I use to feel lonely and cold. This memory will always last. Good things always come to an end, and we're never going to remember all of them.
You're going to forget me too..
Just like everyone else did.
Right now, you're here with me.
But right now has already happened practically.
I'm only living a life that has already been recorded.
We're so close together while still being so far apart.
I'm looking for you while you're only looking at me..
Are you here, anymore?
Did you leave without me noticing?
I must be doing it again,
not living but only existing.
