road trip

10. insomnia

a/n: MATTHEW IS STILL IN MY CITY AND A TIKTOK I MADE BLEW UP AND I JUST CAN'T FUNCTION ANYMORE 

also like the cardigan? the gun? the badge? i just - god really does have favorites and matthew is one of them. 

lmao, i lied. i'm not giving y'all smut sorryyy

also sorry for the like month hiatus :)

flicker - niall horan

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lil recap:

spencer and y/n were on day 2 of the road trip back to quantico. (we are now on day 3 aka the day they're supposed to get back)

y/n screamed in the car - in memoriam of her past trauma which i will now explain. yay! 

derek called them for profiling help and spencer struggled to eat dinner with chopsticks. 

things got a little ~steamy~ in the bathroom but nothing happened :) sorry babes

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after last night, spencer had barely let you out of his sight, only letting you get up from the bed to go to the bathroom. the way he trapped you in his arms and mumbled into your neck when you wanted to get up was adorable. 

but, the looming threat of how this dynamic was going to work out when the two of you got back to quantico scared you endlessly. while you loved spending time with spencer, you weren't sure you were ready for a relationship that was more than what the two of you were doing. 

you turned your head to look at the digital clock on the hotel bedside table. 

3:23 am.

such an odd time to be awake. it was the sort of time where you felt like you were trespassing. it was someone else's time that you were intruding on. 

the silence was comforting considering you'd barely had a moment to yourself the past few days. 

normally you'd get time alone during the night, or between cases to collect yourself. this was different though. this time you had to keep your guard up all the time. there was no downtime where you could unwind and regroup. 

this was constant shielding from one of the best profilers you'd ever met. and to make it worse, his attention was on you the entire time. 

it wasn't that you didn't enjoy the attention, it was that you were constantly worried that he would see through the facade you had worked so hard to put up. 

it was a hard give and take. on the one hand, you loved his attention and the way he made you feel, and you desperately wanted to let him in. but on the other hand, you couldn't bring yourself to tell him anything. you were paranoid the whole time that he would be able to look right through you and you'd be screwed. 

of course, it was 3 am and the insomniac next to you was asleep. 

you watched spencer sleeping peacefully beside you, snoring lightly. it was adorable. 

for some weird reason, you felt like this was the last time you would feel like this. so content with the way things were, so at peace with everything. it felt like a goodbye to something, but you weren't sure what you were saying goodbye to. 

sitting up in bed you ran your fingers through your hair, not wanting to stay still any longer. 

carefully, as not to wake spencer, you walked over to the table your phone was charging on. snagging a pair of headphones from your go-bag, you pulled up your list of oddly specific playlists. scrolling until you found the one that seemed to fit your weird mood.