Memoirs of 1920

Chapter 1

"YESTERDAY was our eight-year wedding anniversary yet you're not around because you're busy working"

Madamdaming pahayag ni Angela sa kanyang asawa.

Tumigil sa kanyang ginagawa si Cayden at nilingon siya. There's no emotion in his eyes, and that hurts Angela the most. He was the guy who once made her feel she deserves anything in the world.

"Tell me Cayden, it's not about business right? Why can't you be honest with me? Bakit hindi mo na kayang itapat sa akin ang totoo?" Masakit na sabi niya. Tears fell from her eyes while looking at him, but he was too cold. He made her feel she's nothing but a total waste of time. It hurts.

Why can't you love me the way you love me before Cayden? Why you change all of a sudden?

"Nasasaktan na ako Cayden sa bawat araw na pinaparamdam mo sa'kin na wala na akong halaga sa'yo, na wala na akong kwenta. Nasasaktan ako dahil hindi mo na kayang ibigay sa akin ang puso mo. Nasasaktan ako sa tuwing kasama mo ang babae mo halos gabi-gabi." She stopped and bite her lower lip. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. "You made me feel that I am a waste already. Nagsasawa ka na ba sa akin? Ayaw mo na ba sa akin?" Kahit umiiyak na ay mahinahon at malambing parin ang boses niya.

"Angela, it's not like that—"

"Then tell me. Nasasaktan na ako Cayden. Sobra-sobrang sakit na. I've been nothing but a good wife to you. I've been faithful to you, I dedicated all my life to you but what you did in return? You just torn my heart into pieces and that... I can't put it back together." She said while sobbing. "Mahirap, all I want is you to reciprocate the love that I've been given to you."

Cayden sighed and stood straight. His eyes settled on her's. Though she's in pain and madness overcoming her but she's still the soft spoken Angela he knew. Pinasok niya ang dalawang kamay sa bulsa at pinakatitigan ito, kahit anong gawin niya wala na talagang makapang pagmamahal na nararamdaman niya sa asawa. Every time he distanced his self to her, he felt so much happiness inside him. And every time he's with his mistress, do'n niya nakikita ang kaligayahan at mahal na mahal niya ang babae, mas higit pa sa pagmamahal na binigay niya sa asawa noon.

Sometimes he felt regret, kung sana hindi lang siya nagpakasal ng maaga — si Gelina, ang secretary sana niya ang asawa niya ngayon. It's the right love in the wrong time.

"I can't give you the love you want Angela. I love Gelina, and I think she's the best for me." he confessed; so calm yet serious.

He walks and stop a few distance away from her.

"I regret of marrying you too early," his voice made its way of making her inner self quiver. He's too serious and his eyes were too cold. "You're too good for me Angela, and it bore me. Every time I did something wrong you never scold or shout or get mad at me, and it bore me. The goodness in you doesn't fit me; I felt suffocated when I'm with you. Everywhere we go, of course lots of people knew you and I need to act the way you act and I don't like it. I'm sick and tired of you Angela, I'm sick and tired to the point that I lost my love and interest in you. What I see in you right now is just a woman and a mother of my child. But the rest? Nothing, just a plain woman who happen to be my wife."

Napapikit ng mga mata si Angela sa sobrang sakit ng mga sinabi nito. Kung 'yon pala ang nararamdaman nito bakit hindi nito sinabi sa kanya noon pa?

"Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi to sa 'kin? We could've solve this earlier."

"Dahil ayaw kung masaktan ka, you're too good for me Angela."

"It's not justifying. Sa tingin mo diyan sa ginagawa mo hindi mo ako nasasaktan?"