FALLING FOR SHAWN

Chapter 10 - The Elation of Taking Flight

She had felt so sad when she woke up and saw he was facing away from her, curled up on the other side of the bed, because only an hour before she had woken and he had been spooning her, his hand on her breast, and she had fallen back to sleep smiling, looking forward to.....more than what she got.

Now he was holding her, she could hear his heart beneath her ear, not racing, but a steady, comforting rhythm, and she felt like she could lay there like this forever. Her heart was aching from it. She felt his lips in her hair and she sighed. And then there was a knock at the door.

She pulled back to look at him. "Who's that?"

He frowned and then seemed to remember. "It's probably Tiff or one of her team coming to get all her stuff."

"Oh shit!" His stylist. Well, then the jig would be up.

"Put your leggings and shoes back on and follow my lead," he said. She jumped out of bed and did as he asked and a moment later he answered the door, holding his head. It was Tiffany herself.

"Hi buddy, whoa, you look like crap! Big night?"

"I think so, I was pretty wasted," he was putting on a good act and as Tiff walked in she stopped, seeing Camila in the chair.

"Hi," Camila smiled.

"Hi Camila," Tiff said slowly, trying to make sense of her presence.

"Camila dragged me back here last night before I made too much of a fool of myself," he said, flopping dramatically onto the bed. He had pulled up the duvet on her side and smoothed the pillow. "She has a room two doors down, she just dropped in on her way home to check on me," he said, trying to appear embarrassed. Camila was impressed with how truly bad his acting was, but Tiff seemed to buy it.

"Oh, thanks Camila," his stylist said. There was an awkward silence and then Camila stood up and picked up her purse.

"OK dude," she said, playing along. "Rest up and I'll see you tomorrow for the video shoot. Don't forget."

"I won't," he croaked. "Thanks so much, Camila, I owe you." You bet you do buddy, she thought, not sure if she should be mad at him or burst into laughter. She waved and left, going back to her room to collect all her things. Her stylists had been there already it seemed, and everything was gone. They would have sent her stuff to her house. She should head home. She stood in the room for a moment, at a loss, and then she heard Tiffany leaving, calling out goodbye and telling him to get some rest. She heard the elevator ding and then she left the room. She stood outside his suite, her heart beating hard. Should she? If she went inside now, it wouldn't just be cuddling, this would be the next step. Her mind was whirling, trying to decide. She felt like they had both been on a roller coaster the last few days, more than the whole time since they had last been together that way. Or maybe a see-saw, up and then down, on and then off, yes and then no. She was standing on the edge of a cliff, and she could make the decision now to jump off and take the risk that she might plummet or she might just fly, or she could walk away, and be safe, but never know the elation of taking flight.

***

Tiffany left and Shawn fell back on the bed, frustrated beyond belief. This knife edge they had been walking since her return to LA was giving him whiplash. He was attempting to do the right thing, the way they had decided months ago, but it was getting fucking difficult to keep it up and he was starting to wonder why they were even trying. He heard a door close, it could be her, and he waited but there was no knock on his door. He got up and stood in front of it, staring at it, listening for the elevator. He had heard Tiff get in before, but now he heard nothing. So he opened the door.