Complicated- Ciarán McDonald

p a r t y (tw)

⚠️TW⚠️ MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND SELF HARM (if you are sensitive to these topics I recommend skipping this chapter!)

I walked into school and I'm immediately attacked by the boys giving me hugs. "Holy fuck rose we were worried about you." Matt said messing up my hair. "I know sorry" I said making a pouty face. "Ciaŕan told us you went back to your house-" he started before I cut him off. " I felt guilty staying over there. Evanie already hates my guts I dont want her thinking I'm banging her man or whatever." I said earning some chuckles from the boys. "But speaking of ciaŕan.. I haven't seen him since last night where is he?" I asked. "On his way, he woke up late."

I walked into third period (which was music) and sat in the back next to ciaŕan. "Yo thanks for helping me last night" I said turning to look at him. "No problem" he said not making eye contact with me. Weird. The bell rang for lunch and I made my way to the cafeteria to look for the boys. As I was walking in Isabella walked past me making sure to hit my shoulder on her way. Just as I was about to say something joba grabbed me and lead me to the table. "What's up with yall. I thought you guys were besties" he whispered to me as we sat down. "she fucked my boyfriend" I said plainly and he went silent.

Evanie and ciaŕan walked together hand in hand to the table. "What's up with them?" I whispered to joba. "Oh we hate her. Shes cheated on him like 3 times and he keeps going back to her" he responded. "Fuckin idiot" I said causing joba to chuckle. "What's up with you and her tho I've seen the glares" he said softly elbowing my shoulder. "She..nevermind I'll tell you some other time." I said looking down.
"Rose" matt said loudly. "Yo" I said. "We're having a party tonight, you should come". "I dont know man parties aren't really my thing". "Pleasssse" he said pouting. "Fuck you. Fine." I said rolling my eyes playfully.

It was 30 minutes until the party so I decided I should get ready. I put on some mascara, eyeliner, brow gel, blush, and lip gloss. I went over to my closet to try to find something to wear but failed miserably. So I decided to call tavia for help.

"Heyyy" I said as she picked up the phone. " what's up love" she said as she sat her phone down so I could see her. "I need help with what I'm gonna wear to the party." "OOOOO COME TO MY PLACE I CAN HELP YOU!!" she screamed. "Bet see you in 30" I said hanging up the phone.

"What about this?" tavia questioned holding up a short skirt. "Hell nah I dont do skirts" I said while walking over to her as she stood by the closet. "woahhh" I said touching a pink mini dress. "I thought you didnt do skirts" tavia said mocking me. "Fuck you this is different. I like this." "Put it on go go go" she said pushing me into the bathroom as I had the dress in my arms. I slipped on the dress and stared at myself in the mirror taking notice of the faded cuts on my thighs. I pulled the dress down as much as I could but it still didnt cover them. I really hope no one notices. I thought to myself as I walked out of the bathroom. "OH.MY.GOD" tavia said as she ran up to me "you look amazing what!!" "Are they noticeable?" I asked pointing to my thighs. "No babes you be okay." "I love you tav" I said as I held her tight. "I love you too rosie" "we shod get goin" "yeah"

We walked into the party and people were already drunk. I scan the crowded room and eventually find joba. "Hey" I said throwing my arm over his shoulder. "hey- oh-" "what is there something on my face" I asked feeling around my face. "No no no its just- your in a dress-" "does it look bad?" I asked starting to worry. "No rose. You look amazing. Let's go outside" "oh..thank you. You dont look too bad yourself mr. boring." I said as we made our way outside. As we sat down I saw jobas eyes travel down to the place I prayed no one would look..my thighs. I saw him look up at me, sympathy filling his eyes. "Rose.." "please no russell I cant right now" I said trying not to cry. "You know you can talk to me right?" He said putting his hand on my shoulder. "I know russ..I know" "so earlier.. you said you would tell me about evanie.." he said "oh shit yeah uh.. are you sure you wanna know? It's kinda dark." "Yeah I can handle it." He said.

"So freshman year her and I were bestfriends and I mean fuckin inseparable. She was dating Nick you know the quarterback? Yeah uh she was dating him. One day we got invited to a party and I got pretty fucked up and I was like all over the place. Uhm I-I went upstairs to uh throw up because I felt like shit" I started to trip over my words as I was trying not to cry. "When I came out of the bathroom him and his friend were in the bedroom. I-I tried to walk out but he grabbed me like really hard by my arm and he-he uh" I broke. I just broke down crying. Joba held me as I cried into his chest drawing the attention of ciaŕan who looked over at joba confused. "That's why you don't do parties.." joba said putting the peices together. " we can leave rose I dont wanna force anything on you." He said picking his stuff up. "No no it's okay russ lemme finish the story." I said and he nodded. "after he got done he just put his clothes back on and walked out like he didn't just rape me. the next day he came up with a whole different story and told evanie that I was all over him and that basically it was all my idea. She obviously believed him and told like everyone I was a "boyfriend stealing slut". You're the only person besides tavia that I've ever told. No one else would believe me anyway."

"Rose..jesus. I'm so fucking sorry" he said pulling me into a tight hug. ciaran came towards us with evanie and I wiped my tears and whispered "speak of the devil" I said sniffing as I let out a soft chuckle. "Yo what's up" ciaŕan said dapping joba up. "Hey" he said looking in my direction. I gave him a small wave. I look up and evanie gave me the same death glare as always. I let my head fall onto joba's shoulder still looking in their direction. "Yo rose do you have any beats ready?" Ciaran asked me. "I have few that I made last week" I said plainly. "Can I get them?" He asked. "Nah" I said. Evanie giving me a look of disgust. "When he asks for something give it to him bitch." She said. "girl- I dont owe either of yall shit"... "So, who's boyfriend are you sleeping with tonight?" She said laughing. "Can you shut the fuck-" "come on rose let's get out here." Joba said grabbing me. "Yo man you gotta get your girl" he said to ciaŕan before walking past them.

"Rose wait" ciaŕan said running after me and grabbed my arm. The same way nick did when he.. "dont fucking touch me like that"i yelled ripping my arm out of his grip. "Hey whore dont talk to my boyfriend like that" evanie said as she push me back. joba turned around and walked over to me. "Whatd you do to her man" joba said walking towards ciaran but I grabbed him. Ciaŕan's eyes traveled to the same place jobas had earlier. "Rose-". "Just leave me alone. Joba c'mon" I said grabbing him and walking to my car.

"Yeah run away just like your mother did" evanie yelled as we walked to my car. I stopped in my tracks processing what she just said. I turned around and walked over to her. "Say one more fucking thing about my mom I kill you I swear to god bitch" I said as i got in her face. "Oh the same way you killed her, you know that was all you fault rose". "Babe-" ciaŕan said trying to get her to stop talking. "shut the fuck up ciaŕan. Listen bitch, I am so much more of a woman than you. My mother was greater than you'll ever be because you spend all your time either cheating on whoever you're with or fucking with me. But I know who I am, I know my worth and I'm not gonna let a stupid bitch like you try to convince I'm anything less than amazing because I know I am. So fuck you." I said. Her mouth was hanging open and I grabbed joba and walked away.