starstruck.

chapter 11: lost

authors note: hi everyone! I hope you're enjoying this story so far! don't forget to check out the playlist I made on Spotify for this album! the link is in my bio description!

Harry pov:
I knew Louis would figure out where I am. I left him the quote and hoped it was obvious enough so he'd catch on, and he did. It's not like I planned to stay hidden forever I just wasn't even sure any of them wanted me back. Not only did I hurt Niall but I hurt all of them, and honestly hurt them more by leaving so I'm surprised they're trying to figure out where I am. As much as I was scared to go back to them, I knew that if they were trying to find me then I meant something to them. Which I know I do but after everything I was scared, they'd all want to kick me from the band or something. I just needed a break and I needed to clear my head and think. I was upset at myself. If I had just been patient maybe I could have had my chance with Noelle without going behind Niall's back and hurting him. I should have just talked to him and told him how I felt about her. How I've had these feelings since the first time I saw her. I need to stop thinking about it. Louis knows where I am so all should be okay soon... right?

I hopped off the motel bed and decided to take a shower. There wasn't much to do other than sitting around and overthink. Wyoming also wasn't much of a tourist site, not that I was here for vacation. It was just my escape for the moment being. I entered the bathroom and stripped down before turning on the shower and stepping in. I let the water run over my face as I ran my hands through my hair washing it. After I finished, I sat on the floor contemplating everything that was currently going on. I was never one to make bad or impulse decisions. I was normally the more mature one when it came to decision making out of the boys. When it came to making a decision, it was normally chosen by Zayn or me. This time around my decision making was not the best. I didn't think things through and I let the jealousy take over.  Everything was now out of my hands and in the hands of the boys and Noelle. Noelle... As much as I know that her being with Niall would be better off for the relationship of the band, a big part of me wanted her to choose me. There was just something about Noelle that drew me in and I couldn't control it. As much as I loved my time with her, I knew that it was over. I ruined my chance. I love her and now she'll be in the arms of someone else.

Noelle pov:
I was worried. I was worried about Harry, worried that I ruined his relationship with the band, and worried they wouldn't find him in time so I'd get the chance to say goodbye to him. I don't know what came over me. I knew how I felt about Niall but something about Harry was magnetic pulling me towards him always wanting more, wanting to feel his touch. It wasn't like that with Niall. I liked them both in different ways. Niall was the kind of sweet boy who'd give you flowers and dance with you under the city lights. Harry was the kind of guy who'd convince you to take risks and be reckless. I felt like a whole different person when I was with each of them. I was conflicted, I know I had to choose Niall for the sake of the boy's relationship with each other, but I felt like I couldn't live without Harry. It hurt me inside to be away from him.

I arrived at our hotel and went up to our room. I opened the door to see freaked out Anna rapidly typing on her laptop. She quickly turned her head to me as soon as I came in the door. "Noelle? Noelle! What is happening? Twitter is going crazy! What's going on??" She spilled out. I walked over to her and sat next to her. "I- I don't know but the boys are figuring it out," I replied. "Somehow the press and news found out about the disappearance and the fans are freaking out, I'm trying to tell them everything will be okay but it's not calming them down." I shut her laptop. "Let them freak out then if they won't listen. Soon enough, Harry will be found and everything will be fine." I told her even though I didn't believe it myself. She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure?" She questioned and I shook my head. "No, I mean I know they'll be fine but everything won't be fine. I have to choose between one of them." I sighed. I know Harry said to let him go and choose Niall but I don't think I can let him go. They're both a part of my life now. I knew choosing Niall was the right and safest choice for the sake of everyone else. But what about what I want? I don't want to be stuck as the goody-two-shoes who follow the rules. I want to take risks and live life to the fullest. But I know I can't because I can't hurt them again. I like Niall but... I think I love Harry.

My phone notification went off. I picked up my phone to see a text message from Louis.

L: Hey, Niall and I are going to find Harry. He's in Wyoming. I'll update you when I know more. I hope we'll be back in time to see you.

N: I hope so too, keep me updated <3

read at 5:15 pm

I sighed and laid back on the bed. So many thoughts flowed through my mind. I didn't know what to do and whatever I ended up doing would hurt one of them. Harry or Niall, Niall or Harry. Two amazing and great guys. I felt so guilty for driving a wedge in between the group but I can't control what I feel. I have strong feelings for both of them, no matter what someone will end up hurt.