INANG HIRAYA AWARDS 2020

MYSTERY/THRILLER RESULTS

Mystery/Thriller

Judged by moonirea

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' ENTRY 1 -  xycho_queen
● The Revenge of Anonymous Killer (changed title) ●

WRITING STYLE: 14/20

PLOT: 14/20

FLOW: 17/25

*TOTAL POINTS:  87/100

* OVERALL CRITIQUE: so uhm, i must say it has major problem pa din. from your writing style, the plot and the flow of the story is too fast but the progress is slow. nakakaconfuse siya basahin, it even has cringey story filler that is not appropriate sa genre na ito. it lacks the correct punctuation marks, the grammar and spelling. everything is chaotic and i think you need to start proofreading and editing it before joining contests like this, be aware of the story's technicalities and stuff.

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' ENTRY 2 -  SundayisBest
● DORA ●

WRITING STYLE: 17/20

PLOT: 16/20

FLOW: 22/25

*TOTAL POINTS:  90/100

* OVERALL CRITIQUE:  so there were technicalities where halos hindi mo siya maintindihan, luckily may time na nakalagay sa itaas kaya nagiging clear minsan. i was concerned about the punctuation marks and spelling. may hindi nalagyan ng period at the end of the sentence, sa dialogue tags din is mali. the letter 'i' becomes letter 'e'. please be minimal din sa mga style mo, like if maglalagay na ng date and time, make it simple kasi ang kalat tignan. you can edit it naman but i really suggest to not put the happy/funny tone kasi mystery/thriller 'to na genre. it needs to be serious, tho i suggest to put theories than jokes nalang as story filler mo. i repeat, this is mystery/thriller, not humor.

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' ENTRY 3 - heihyunn
● Forest Feuds ●

WRITING STYLE: 17/20

PLOT: 17/20

FLOW: 22/25

*TOTAL POINTS:  93/100

* OVERALL CRITIQUE: oooh, so i'm getting on the adventurous and thrilling part. so, there's technicalities which has affected your story so much. from the change of POV's, the dialogue tag, some frequently misspelled words and the characters. i often get confused when the POV whill shift, like nakakalito talaga and the fact na marami sila, i think it's best to change POV's nalang kapag kailangan na talaga, it's bothering me din sa chapter 4 (IV) na nag third person's POV ka but it looks like it's first person's POV, remember na hindi kailanman malalaman at masasabi sa third person's POV ang emotional state ng character unless maipapakita ito sa mukha niya, you can describe it but never point out and conclude. and also, beware sa mga misspelled words and punctuation marks, it can be fixed with minor editing lang naman so it's fine for now.

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' ENTRY 4 -  Kitten_Gray
● President Who Can't Be Throned ●

WRITING STYLE: 18/20

PLOT: 18/20

FLOW: 24/25

*TOTAL POINTS:  95/100

* OVERALL CRITIQUE: so i love how it goes smoothly. i noticed minor mistakes lang naman so it's good, you can edit it pa. there's some spelling sa mga words na mali but hindi naman napupuna agad. it's good how this is so interesting and hindi magulo, clean yung pagkakasulat and i must say, it was good. just pay attention of some things so that mas magiging okay siya, no sweat tho, it didn't deny the fact that the story is great.

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' ENTRY 5 -  -Aishie
● Watthell ●

WRITING STYLE: 19/20

PLOT: 19/20

FLOW: 24/25

*TOTAL POINTS:  98/100

* OVERALL CRITIQUE: amongst all the story in this category, ito yung pinakamalinis. i don't know what to criticise anymore, i can't see any major problem and if meron nga, minor parts lang. those three dots, '. . .' i think hindi naman kailangan may space and you can just type, '...'
and yung ibang spelling and capital letters. maybe if mag eedit ka nito is hindi ka mahihirapan dahil sa halos perfect nga ito.

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CONGRATULATIONS, -Aishie ! You're one of the TOP 8!