💫 Parangal mula sa Inang Hiraya ngayong 2020 💫
Ito ay ang pagkilala sa akdang pilipino. Bawat isa ay may taglay na talento, halina't lumahok at makidalo!
[ ] OPEN
[ ] JUDGING
[ 🦋 ] CLOSED
DATE OPENED: SEPTEMBER 29, 2020
ENDED: NOVEMB...
I went omg with the description. I didn't expect that she has a boyfriend- though it spoil a little, still it urges a reader to open the book out of curiosity on what might happen next. I like that!
Prologue/Beginning - 13/15
I didn't expect it would be on full english-I had fun though. I like the fact that it didn't go beating around the bush-it went straight to the point yet the anticipation didn't decreases. I'm only a little concerned with the misplaced apostrophe and the wrong usage of action and dialogue tags.
Honestly, It's confusing. You didn't placed enough comma for the pacing. Sentences became tenacious and was hard to understand-if you won't read it carefully. I'd suggest you seperate the paragraphs and add comma on its right place.
Prologue/Beginning - 14/15
I love how short yet intriguing it was. I thought I was reading some classic love letters and it really touched my heart-a little, a little yet since it's too short. I love the emotions you've poured into it. However-just like your blurb, I noticed how you've missed the commas.
Title and the blurb suits perfectly. I honestly got so excited when I read it. I'm so curious what's that secret and to whom she will reveal it- I'm guessing, that one will be her safe haven. All in all, it's really interesting!
Prologue/Beginning - 15/15
Sentence structures are super nice! I love how you narrated it on tagalog and how I can really feel the ambiance of the scene. Imagery is so good! I think it would really excite the readers.
I like it. Though it may as if you've spoil the content, I still got intrigued with the last sentence. Also, I'm a little confused with the first paragraph. What do u mean 'sa pangarap lamang niya makikita?' or maybe you meant, panaginip? Please clarify.
Prologue/Beginning - 11/15
I was a little disappointed with the intro, I was hoping for something different but turns out, it's just the same with the blurb. Please know the difference between blurb and intro, blurb is like a short summarization of a story, almost like a trailer. While intro is a part of the story itself- either past or the future events.
I'm not a fan of short blurbs but this one is really intriguing, probably because it's something new to me. PWD types of stories are very rare on this platform and it's very refreshing for me to find something like your story. However, I think it's too short-but if that's ur style then that's totally fine!
Prologue/Beginning - 12/15
It's a good read! It really felt new to me and I so love it. I can't understand how he's blind and he wasn't even describing the place detail to detail but I was able to imagine it clearly. I can feel the atmosphere-your narration is good, that's what I meant to say. But I noticed a lot of errors with the dialogue and action tags, punctuations, ng/nang's. I'll try listing it down with my over all feedback!
