Scent of a Mate

Chapter 5

Ricky

The landyard being around my neck was my opportunity to die with a purpose. I was so sick and tired of society, which is filled of liars and cheaters; however, living with Annie and Rob proved to me that there were good people on Earth. Because of them I started saving up so that I could study law and become a lawyer. I wanted to help those who were wronged like I was.
But having my mate stand there and tell me that all he wanted was the landyard... I didn't think it would be so painful. All this time I was saying that as soon as I saw him I would reject him and live an independent, happy life.

Imagined situations are nothing like reality.

I saw him. I smelled loyalty on him. It gave me hope. But life throws you curb balls and they hit you straight it the heart. I was so tired of pain. I had no one. No one would miss me when I died. No one would mourn for me at my funeral. No one would cherish memories of me five years from now.

So I decided to die for his pack. I decided to trade my life for theirs. His beautiful face was so torn. I wouldn't make him decide between me and his pack. I let out the chuckle.

"I guess there's not much of a choice here is there?"

I grabbed the front of the landyard and took one last look at my mate. His face was so pained. At least he felt something for me. I would die for a purpose and with maybe two people caring a little.

Good enough.

"It was nice meeting you, mate."

I closed my eyes and gave the landyard a tug.

Only it didn't rip off.

A hand was holding the back of the landyard together. I opened my eyes and saw my mate there. His eyes were looking down at me with a look of pity and anger.

"What are you doing?" I lashed out at him.

I tried pulling at the landyard harder. I wanted to die. This would be my only chance to die with purpose and he was ruining it. I kept tugging at the landyard harder and harder but he had the back of it firmly secured around his hand.

"What are you doing?! Let it go!" I cried.

He stood there looking down at me with a much angrier expression on his face. That didn't stop my from fighting him. I was so prepared to die. So I yanked harder.

"Let it go! Let me die! I want to die!"

Tears were falling down my face. The realization of how close to peace I was hit me. I could have been done with this world and he's the only reason I'm still here in this sick and twisted world.

"Please let me die! I want to die! Please! Please!"

I was full on sobbing now. I didn't usually cry, but then again I had never felt so desperate for anything in my life.

I felt my strength failing as I slowly realized that this stoic man would never let me find my peace. My grip on the landyard loosened and I slowly felt myself slide down his body onto the floor were I sat on the ground, brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my leg were I curled up into a little ball.

I saw him crouch down in front of me to inspect my face. He was so calm but his eyes were sad and angry as he studied me. For a moment we were silent while I silently cried letting my tears flow freely.

"I wanted to die. That was my chance to die with a purpose and you took it from me."

He looked down and shook his head then looked back at me with a look of determination on his face.

"I can't let you die."

I dropped my arms and glared at him.

"Why? What have I done to make you want to torture me like this?" My voice came out shaky and desperate.

He let out a sigh. "You're being selfish."

My mouth dropped in shock and I kept looking at him as if he was joking. He just stared at me. No humor grazed his features.

He's not kidding.

"I'm being selfish? Me?"

He nodded his head with no hesitation.
My body started to shake with anger and I pounced on him knocking him flat on his back and punched his face.

"You took an honorable death from me and I'm the selfish one?! I could have died in PEACE!"

He grabbed my wrist and flipped me over so he was straddling me.

"Yes! You were being selfish!" He barked at me, but it didn't intimidate me. I was furious.

"Selfish to whom. Whom was I harming by taking my life?"

He pinned my wrist over my head and in a flash his face was an inch away from mine.

"ME! You were harming ME!"

We were both heaving from all the release of pent up emotion. His face went from anger to sadness all over again and his hold on my wrists slackened. I was confused.

Did he actually care?

"Why would you care? Mate bond aside, why would my death actually affect you? You just met me." I whimpered.

The look in his eyes made my heart skip a beat. They were so intense and held so much sad hope.

"I know what it's like to feel like no one in the world understands or cares about you. I know what it's like to feel like no one in the world can understand your pain. And you know what? I'm sorry that I probably never will understand your pain."

A single tear escaped and I looked away from him. The past was coming back and filling my mind. His hands reached down, gently grabbed both my cheeks, and turned my face back to his.

"I just needed one person. I didn't need all those therapists that acted like they gave a crap. I didn't need people trying to prod at my feelings and emotions. I just needed one person to make me feel like I wasn't a piece of shit and nobody could do that."

He took his hands of my face and went back to the crouching position he was in before I tackled him to the ground. I sat up so I could keep looking at him. He had my full attention.

"Mate bond aside. You're robbing me of the opportunity to actually feel like I can help somebody. I'm not saying that I'm all fixed because to be honest I'm still a damn mess, but I have a feeling that we were paired up because I can help you just as much as you can help me. So do me a favor, not as a mate, but from one damaged person to another. Don't kill yourself."

I sat there and stared at him. For years I had been selfish. I didn't think anybody needed me for anything and now I have a beautiful man begging me to live so that I can help him. Begging an emotional wreck to help him not be an emotional wreck. This was just a disaster waiting to happen.

"I won't."