Bad Boy With Scars

Epilogue

It's been a year since Connor Franta had ended his life.

His death had a bigger toll on people then expected.

Students, teachers, family, friends, anyone who could showed up to his funeral.

Crazy how they hated him but still showed up, right?

There were many sorrowful words that were spoken.

Not a single mean comment slipped from anyone's mouths, not ever again.

Jc and Kian spoke together at his funeral, making sure the other was fine.

Jc broke down in violent sobs throughout the whole thing.

He had a panic attack and had to be escorted out for an hour to get him to calm down.

Kian considered taking his own life, as he thought it was his fault.

Ricky sat in bed for weeks trying to process his death after the funeral.

He had been emotionless - numb.

Trevor about went mad at the viewing on Connor's body.

He tried shaking Connor, hoping he'd wake up.

Sam did take his life.

He felt that if he wouldn't have tried to go out with me in the first place, Connor would still be here.

He couldn't handle the pain, nor the guilt.

His entire family went to consoling because of it.

His teachers almost quit because the classrooms reminded them of a lost soul they didn't bother to help.

They'd seen the scars, they saw all the signs he was depressed, but they did nothing.

His fellow students did nothing but stay silent.

They cried when someone were to mention Connor's name, or even just looking at his desk.

I, on the other hand, I'll never get over it. Connor was a complete ass, but I loved him. He was the single worst thing to ever happen to me, but I'm completely lost without him. I hated his guts, and yet all I ever wanted was his love. I was in love with Connor and I'll never get to tell him.

I read his note every night. Nicola thought that I might want to keep it considering I was the closest person to him. I haven't cried while reading it in the past few weeks, but sometimes the pain is unbearable and I only have one solution. I drink the pain away. I buy liquor over the Internet. I know it's dangerous, but I hope that one day it will kill me and I won't be sad anymore.

I'll leave this off with a never ending depressing note because that's all my life will ever be from now on. I'm sure you want to read the note, so here:

'Dear whoever may be reading this,
I'm sorry you had to find me like this, but I couldn't take it anymore. The pain and the hurt that I've felt for the past four years of my life is slowly driving me insane. I'd rather be dead then be put in a mental hospital.
If you find this sudden, then damn you are blind. Does no one realize how I feel? I feel completely worthless. I am completely worthless. I don't know how anyone could love me. Then again, no one does. I'm just another drop in the ocean. It wouldn't matter if I were there or not. I truly only care if one person reads this though.
I want Chelsea to know that I love her with everything I am. I know I've made mistakes. I know I'm a fuck up. I know she hates me, but that's never stopped me before. I just really hope she knows that.
I should go now, it's a little past 11:00 p.m. and my parents should be sleeping. They'll find me in the morning and by that time, it'll be too late. I hope everyone has a good life. Now that I'm out of if, I'm sure they will.
I can hear Gram calling my name, so I'm leaving now.
Sincerely,
Connor E. Franta'