10 Reasons Why the Internet is No Longer Allowed at Hogwarts

Reason # 10

Disclaimer: Weasleys are redheads. The fifth book is blue. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter so please don't sue!

Summary: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry allowed the internet during the year days of cyberspace. This is the story of why it is now banned.

Author's Note: This story is purely for fun and is meant to be nothing more than short little drabbles to make you chuckle. It is supposed to be silly and off the wall. Please, don't message me telling me the reasons why none of this would be possible. I've been a Harry Potter fan since 1998 so it is safe to assume that I know that the internet (and computers for that matter) wouldn't work at Hogwarts.

Author's Note II: I know eBay wasn't around in the early 90's. This is a humor fic, people just go with it.

"Headmaster," Professor Severus Snape drawled as he stepped into the old man's office. "We have a problem with the Weasley twins, sir."

Professor Dumbledore turned away from attempting to feed his pet Phoenix, Fawkes, a lemon drop candy. "Whatever could it be this time?"

"They've been stealing ingredients from my potions stores and I'm fairly certain that they have been using that blasted computer web contraption to flout the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy even more than their brother and Potter did with that cursed flying car!" Snape ranted.

"Just what exactly do you think the brothers Weasley are up to Severus?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

"They're making Amortentia and selling it to muggles on something called eBay if Miss Granger is to be believed."

"How can you be certain?"

Snape simply held up a muggle newspaper with the headline:

LISA MARIE MARRIES MICHAEL JACKSON!

"Oh, that is very wrong," Dumbledore said in disgust. "When will that Jackson boy learn that magic is not for muggles?" He shook his head. "Send the boys to my office...and suspend their internet privileges."

"With pleasure," Snape sneered