Trustfall || Sanders Sides Equestrian AU

Chapter 15 - As Far as Thoughts Reach

A/N - This chapter has been ready and up on AO3 for a while now, but I just wasn't feeling motivated enough to draw the cover so I haven't been able to upload it here, too. I've been dying to post it already though so I'm just going to do that and add the drawing later (maybe next week?) when I have the time and energy. Thank you! Also, thank you so much for 400+ reads! I know it's not much compared to other stories, but it truly means everything to me! I just realised I always thank everyone only on AO3 because it gives me the spaces for beginning notes and end notes to do that - which is also why I've only been posting the terminology on there and not on the Wattpad version - would you guys prefer that I put the same notes from AO3 here at the beginning and the end? Thank you for reading and have a great day!

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Roman couldn't help but notice that lately, horses had been judging him quite a lot. Considering the lifestyle of the particular judges in question, that was already a bad sign.

Trigger didn't tear his gaze away from him as he trailed his eyes down the paper for the fifty fourth time that day. He couldn't tell what Virgil saw about sitting on hay bales; they were scratchy and uncomfortable – but he had no other place to sit, so he had to make do. Every so often his eyes would shoot up from the paper to check on the animal in the stall with him. If horses could arch a judging brow, Trigger sure as hell did.

"I know, man, I should know this by heart by now," Roman sighed. "I just- I can't concentrate. Especially not when you're watching me like that, dammit, can't a rider get some privacy around here?"

Trigger didn't mention the fact that Roman was sitting in his stall. But trust me; if he could, he definitely would have.

"I just can't afford to arrive at this thing unprepared. And it's less than two months away, and we barely have any time to practice, and the course is confusing me, and Patton and Puzzle are out of the game, and Logan's really not with us lately which is honestly kind of frightening, and my stupid legs hurt again-"

Trigger's hoof clopped against the floor when he made a step towards him, causing him to jerk. The horse froze in response. A sigh rolled up Roman's chest and sneaked from out between his lips.

"I'm sorry buddy, you can come over. You just startled me a little."

Trigger must have changed his mind, though, because he turned the other way and began to dramatically lick the salt block that was hung up at the corner of the stall. Roman inhaled sharply.

"Are you not talking to me now? I said I was sorry."

Usually the "conversations" with his horse would amuse him, but it appears needless to mention that Roman did not feel very Roman-y today. He glanced down at the course's plan again. The words jumbled together in his vision like an entire colony of tiny black ants in a salsa dance.

"That's it. We're getting out of here." Roman could feel Trigger's gaze boring into his back as he released the halter that was hung on a hook on the stall's door. "I can't concentrate on learning the course of the competition, because I'm stressed out of my mind because of the competition," he continued as he hung the halter on his shoulder and prepared the saddle and the pads that rested on the window seal. "I'm stressed out of my mind because.. well..."

Roman twisted around to face the animal that he refused to admit that he feared. The horse blinked slowly.

"I've lost it, Trig," he breathed. "I used to be the most confident rider in Daybreak. Now I'm stressed about the idea of messing up those jumps or- or worse."

He haltered him quickly, before he could change his mind, and hoisted the saddle together with the pads onto his shoulder. The stall's door announced its movement to the entire stable when he slid it sideways by pushing his free shoulder against it. He struggled with the tack on his other shoulder as he fit the lead rope into a more comfortable position in his grip.