Don't be afraid, darling ✔[COMPLETED]

Chapter 36: I fear him... but I love him

Tears streamed down my face in torrents. I had gone crazy. Absolutely, bat shit crazy.

I never caught Cassian's eye. He never wanted me. I was just a means for power to him and his psychotic grandfather. Scew them! Screw all of them! They're all liars!

"LIAR!" Every single head whipped to my direction as I ran up to Nathaniel/Cassian, but no one stopped me.
Probably because they couldn't believe I had done something so stupid.

I didn't care about my chances of dying when I looked him in the dark red eye and did the unthinkable.

I grabbed the front of his shirt in my fists and shook him as hard as I could. He didn't budge, but that didn't deter me.

"You're lying! Say it! Admit that you're lying!" I yelled into his face, my vision blurry with tears.

He just laughed.

He didn't even try to free his shirt out of my grip.

Again, he had the nerve to throw back his head and laughed his lungs out like I had told the joke of the century.

"You pathetic human girls! You don't cease to astonish me with your desperation! That Cabrera whore was obsessed with the boy and that led to her demise. But I never thought a celeste would stoop that low." He smirked and if possible, inched closer to me.

I gulped and tried my best to convince myself that I wasn't like Jacquelyne. I wasn't... obsessed. I wasn't delusional. I wasn't....

Was I?

Nathaniel's words took root in my head and memories of Cassian flirting with me and me flirting back appeared in front of me.

Realization hit me like a slap. Of course I was obsessed! His kisses, his chuckles, his smirks, his voice, his possessiveness... I was obsessed with them all. I missed being scared by his dangerous promises. I wanted to feel like I could anything when I was with him.

When Zorraine had kissed me, I didn't pull away because I wanted to prove to him that I could play with fire as much as he could. I wanted to prove that I was not afraid to make him angry. 

I was in love with him.

I was enraged at Nathaniel not for lying to me. I was enraged because he suggested that it was all a lie. All an act to get my celeste powers.

I missed him. I wanted to go with him.

I looked into Nathaniel's deep red eyes and tried to remember the chocolate brown orbs Cassian had.

The same eyes that got me nervous and exhilarated at the same time.

Taking a deep breath, I let go of his shirt and took a step back from him.

"I'm not obsessed with him, Nathaniel. I'm in love with Cassian Mantzari. And I will go with you if you leave these people alone." I couldn't recognize my own voice when I said that.

Deep down, I knew, that I had to be strong and do the right thing. For Cassian, who was probably battling his grandfather over control of his body.

A huge gasp caused me to turn around.

Uncle Ash stared at me like I had sprouted antlers. He looked shocked. Well, he and pretty much the rest of the room.

Even Nathaniel. He was definitely taken aback by my declaration, not expecting me to drop that bomb.

But he overcame that shock and smiled in his evil way, "Good to know you see sense, celeste. As a reward, I will take you to see your dear Zorraine. Drop in to say hello, shall we?" He held out his hand and looked at me expectantly.

I'm known to be impulsive. I do rash things. But this is not a rash decision. If I went with him, he would probably kill me to claim my powers or imprison me forever. There was a good chance that I would never see my mom and dad again.

Mom and Dad...

I didn't realise that a single tear rolled down my cheek. They would understand. Ally or Uncle Ash would explain to them. They knew that I loved them to no ends.

Nodding slowly, I extended my hand to him cautiously.

Behind me, Ryder and Darren yelled out, "Kiara, NO!"

I heard a lot of murmuring and chanting of spells, but before anyone could do anything, Nathaniel grabbed my hand and pulled me to himself.

Leaning down, he whispered in my ear, his raspy voice sending chills down my spine,

"Death is kinder than love. You should've chosen more wisely, my dear."
_________________________________________

Cassian's POV:

Darkness. It was all I could see around me. Pure inky blackness.

It was hot. No, scratch that. It was burning up. Like I was in an oven. I wouldn't be surprised if my skin melted.

Served me right, huh? I had tortured my brother to no ends and now, it was all coming back to me.

Honestly, I had no idea how I had ended up here.

One second, I was standing in the House of Avyanna, demanding to see my Kiara and the other second, I was here. In this dark, burning void.

Seems like a weird combination, right? Darkness and fire? But in the Gifted world, anything was possible. 

My mind just couldn't be still. A thousand different things crowded my brain at once. Ren in the Underworld, Jacquelyne torturing him, Nathaniel taking over my body and.... Kiara.

All I wanted to do was see her. I couldn't bear to stay away from her anymore. How desperate I was to hold her in my arms and hear her assure me that she wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I had even forgiven Ren for kissing her.

Hopelessness surrounded me like air. I inhaled and I could feel the despair creep down my throat. I was tired. Tired of trying to live up to everyone's expectations. Anyone who knew me expected me to be a monster, cruel and sadistic. No one thought of believing me to be a better man. It was drilled into their heads that Cassian Mantzari was a horrible person. A demon. But no one, not even Ally tried to imagine me as a kind, protective big brother.

That had done it for me. When my own little sister started to be afraid of me, I decided to give them what they expected. A monster. After all, the only person who ever saw any of the good in me, gave up his life to save mine. Even Kiara was scared of me. 

My knees buckled and my eyes smarted. I stumbled to the burning floor, not feeling the heat burn through my jeans and scorch my palms. I was helpless and needed someone, anyone to tell me it was okay. To reassure me. Tears started falling down my cheeks. To hell with the men don't cry crap.

"Father!" 

I couldn't recognize my own voice as I yelled out in utter helplessness.