The Fallen Invader

Chapter 1: Weird

Zim was acting weird.

No, weird is an understatement. He's always weird, obviously, because he's an alien. What I mean is, he was acting... off...

I didn't notice at first, since I think this was a slow, gradual thing, but after stopping to think about it, this had been building up for a while.

First of all, I couldn't remember the last time I had to stop one of his schemes. As far as I'm sure, he hadn't been scheming at all. And I'm pretty sure that's the case, because he'd been going to skool.

The question is, why wasn't he scheming? Why was he still going to skool when he didn't technically have to, other than to keep up appearances? Why didn't he just leave?

All I knew was, it had something to do with me. Specifically, it had something to do with him wanting to torment me whenever possible.

The thing is, he never actually tried to hurt me. He'd humiliate me to no end, sure, but he didn't seem to have any desire to kill me. The closest thing he had to schemes were harmless, childish pranks.

And somehow, I got roped into it.

I mean, let's be honest. If someone leaves not one, not two, but THREE whoopee cushions on your chair in English, you've gotta get them back. You can't just take it.

But of course, Zim and I are both stubborn jerks, so we never stopped trying to one-up each other. We were trapped in this endless prank war for months.

I needed answers. Why was he doing this? What was he really planning.

I found Zim at his locker before lunch. It was time to confront him.

"Alright, Zim! What's your deal? I know you're up to something!"

"What are you going on about, human?"

"You know... the pranks! I know this is all a part of your evil plan, so... what is it?"

He responded by pulling my pants down in the middle of the hallway, earning a few laughs from classmates passing by.

"I'm serious, Zim! Just tell me what your plan is already! You know I hate when you do this!"

The little alien smirked. "Which is exactly why I'm doing it."

It was then that I realized that simply talking wasn't going to work. I had to take more drastic measures. I had to kidnap him. But first I had to pull my pants up.

During my last class, I asked to go to the bathroom. I went to the front door and waited for the final bell to ring, ready to trap the alien in a trash can. I wasn't entirely sure HOW I was going to get him home, since I knew he would fight back. Figured I'd just wing it.

As predicted, getting him home was the most awkward part of the plan. At least it was, before everything went off the rails, but I'll get there in a second.

I did manage to get him home, despite him screaming and banging at the wall of the trash can the entire time. As soon as we were in the house, I dumped him out.

"What is the meaning of this, Dib-beast!?"

"The meaning of this is you not telling me the meaning of whatever it is you're doing! Or something."

Zim's PAK legs burst out, ready to attack, but Dad walked in at just the right time, forcing him to quickly hide his extra appendages.

"Ah, Dib's little foreign friend! Always nice to see you."

"Oh. Hello, Professor." Zim greeted casually. It always bugged me how friendly he acted towards Dad. It made it really difficult to fight him in front of him.

The three of us just stood at the door for an uncomfortably long time, until I'd finally had enough.

"Uh, come on, Zim! Let's got to my room and... talk..."

We proceeded to my room, and as soon as I closed the door, Zim spoke again.

"Now, where were we? Oh, yes." His PAK legs burst out once again, and he pinned me against the wall.

"Tell me your plan!"

"NEVER!"

"But don't you wanna rub it in my face?"

"Eh? I have no desire to rub your face! That's disgusting!"

I managed to free one of my arms, and I reached out to grab him, pulling off one of his gloves.

He let out a gasp, and immediately retracted his PAK legs. "Gimme that back!" He demanded, attempting to swipe it as I held it out of his reach.

"What are you freaking out about? It's just a glove."

In his attempts to snatch it back, his sharp claws swiped across my chest, a burning sensation coming from the wound.

"That's why. Irken claws are venomous. You're... going to die..."

I gave him the glove back and clutched my chest. "So, this was your plan, huh? If you were gonna kill me, why didn't you do it sooner?"

"This was not my plan, and I had no intention of killing you. No, no, this won't work at all."

I fell to my knees. "Then help me. This has to have happened before, right? Is there a cure? Anything?"

"Yes, but there isn't much time, and you don't have the technology here. We'll have to go to my base for the procedure."

I tried to get back up, but my legs felt like jelly. Burning, painful jelly. Zim noticed my problem and sighed, then begrudgingly acted as my support as we walked out of my house and down the street to his base.

The entire walk, I was filled with dread. I didn't trust Zim, but it was clear that if I didn't go with him, I'd be a goner. I just had to hope that he didn't have an ulterior motive for once.

Ha... I was doomed...