The Fighter and His Tiger (Unexpected Love #1)

42. Thursday Week Seventeen

42. Thursday Week Seventeen

The fabric felt too tight against my body and the heels felt too high beneath my feet. My toes wanted to wriggle but the confined nature of the heeled shoes prevented them from doing so. Every curve of my body was on blatant display and my tanned skin seemed even more prominent against the bright white bodycon dress — I was beyond uncomfortable.

I sensed him before he even spoke a word but I didn't dare move from my position in front of the long mirror.

"Is that the dress you have to wear for your dinner with Vincent tomorrow?" he wanted to know.

Slowly, I slipped out of my heels, reaching my now bare toes into the plush carpet and delighting in the freedom.

"You haven't spoken to me in almost a week," I uttered quietly, "and that's the first thing you say to me?"

Even though I still wasn't facing him, I knew he had pushed off of the doorframe and was standing tall mere metres away from me. The atmosphere made me understand for the first time what it felt like to be so physically close to someone whilst also being worlds apart.

"What do you want me to say, Reillyn?" My eyes shuttered closed at his accusing tone, "you want me to tell you how much I hate this? Because I do, tigru, I hate it so fucking much," I saw him run his hands through his unkempt hair out of the corner of my eye, his bright blue eyes blazing, "do you know how hard it is to watch you try on clothes for another man? I fucking hate it!"

Eyes still sealed shut, I whispered, "don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act as if you care."

Silence stretched between us as neither one of us spoke, but the lack of words began to eat at me. It made me think and feel when all I wanted to do was scream and cry.

"I love you, tigru," he breathed out but the words that were supposed to soothe me only served to ignite a fire in me. A fire which scorched my insides in the worst way possible.

"You don't love me," I told him, using his own words against him, "if you loved me, you wouldn't have left me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have chosen Vittoria over me. If you loved me, I would be with you, not against you all the time."

"Vittoria?" His voice was inquisitive and confused, "I didn't choose her. I want you, I have always wanted you."

"Well do you know what I want, Ryker?" I asked him, finally turning to face him, "I want to go home," my voice was pleading with him, begging him to understand, "I want to see my Nan and Ty. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to fix things with Noah and I want my friends back."

My voice cracked and I gave up trying to restrain my tears. Here, standing in front of the boy I loved, I let it all out.

"My whole life has been one shitty thing happening after another. All I wanted was one year, just one year, where I didn't have to hate my life or be angry with the world. I pick the wrong boys. I'm not enough for my broken family. I've repeatedly lied to my friends and let them down when all they've ever done is love me through all my bullshit," I sobbed and looked him in the eye, "what the fuck do I have left?"

"I need to do this, Eli, I need to get rid of Mikael and Vincent. If not for you and Raven and Cayden and Max then for me and Nana and Ty and all of our friends. Because it's not too late for me to finally be happy. I just want to know joy again, Eli, I just want to be happy."

My tone altered to frustration but salty tears continued to stream down my face, "I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to wake up every single day and see you because it hurts. Being around you hurts," I took a deep breathe in, "being around you reminds me that I don't have you anymore, that I never will. Because you have ruined us, Eli, this," I motioned between us, "can't ever be fixed."