Stupid stories of my high ass and my girlfriend being a cute dumbass

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So my grandma is in Canada taking care of my Nana since my uncle (who use to take care of her) died and my mum is living at my aunts house to take care of here cuz my grandpa also died and he lived with my aunt (his sister). The whole point of that is that basically I've been living by myself, in a house I don't pay for and with food my mum buys for me, all by myself for 4-6 months. Due to this I've been able to get stoned with out getting caught, throw parties, drink all the alcohol in the house, and have my gf over when ever I want. And your probably like "WhErE's YoUr DaD???" Well he Kermit self die when I was 10 so yeah. Back to what happened last night!!!! So my gf was supposed to come over yesterday at like 1:30 pm (after school and before our drama rehearsal) to get stoned out of our minds but she was 30 minutes late so I started to smoke without her, ya know like any stoner would do. She apparently was knocking at the door but I didn't hear he cuz I was blasting my mix of Green Day, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, Metallica, and Rage Against The Machine. So her dumbass decide she would climb to my window of my two story tall house. At this point I was already pretty stoned so this got very very weird (and if I wasn't an asexual it would of been a huge turn on). So I was sitting on my bed, smoking some Mary Jane (I'm cringe, ik), listening to awesome music, when all of a sudden I hear outside of my widow, on the second story of my house, "oh fuck!" "Ow!!" "Shit" "mother fucker!!!!". Then I see and arm come in my window grabbing onto my futon under my window, then a leg (my gf is like koala bearing the shit out of my window), and then my gf is in my room looking like she rolled down a mountain 20 times but also looking adorable and innocent asf. Then she just gives me the cutest smile and says "hi" and came to cuddle with me. To add to the cuteness she also had to where my jeans and AC/DC hoodie to drama rehearsal, and I'm like 5 inches taller than her and I have some meat on my bones while she is just sticks held together by skin so my clothes were huge on her and I died of adorableness. Like I can not handle that much cuteness regularly, what makes her think I can handle it when I'm stoned out of my mind? Like tf!!!! Is she trying to kill me?!?! She is also right next to me reading this (cuddling into me so I'm overloaded with cuteness from her rn and remembering yesterday) and she says "yes, I am trying to kill you, I've been sent by the government to overload you with cuteness" I've got to say, she is doing a fantastic job. I love her so much!!