Ghost in Me and You

One Step at A Time

“You look like you need to smoke.”

“You don’t like it when I smoke.”

“I don’t but you seem really need it and this is your place. You can do whatever you want.”

Jessica doesn’t answer. Her fingers keep moving nervously and her mouth feels dry. Tiffany’s right, she does need it. It’s addiction after all and smoking always able to help her calm her nerves but Jessica still doesn’t make any move. Seeing that, Tiffany grabs the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand beside her and puts it on Jessica’s blanket covered stomach. “Here”

The pack stays still in Jessica’s stomach for a few seconds until finally she grabs it and takes one of the sticks. She puts it in her mouth and looks at Tiffany. The latter raises an eyebrow questioningly. 

“Cigarette needs fire. Except if you can blow fire from your nose like a dragon I think I will need a lighter,” says Jessica.

Tiffany rolls her eyes at that but she still grabs the lighter at the same nightstand and throws it to Jessica. The latter just calmly catches it and light up the stick.

“Glad your sarcasm is back.”

Jessica just blows the smoke as an answer. Silence engulfs them after that. Tiffany leans back to the headboard while Jessica just lies in the bed beside her.

Jessica keeps inhales and blows the smoke, doesn’t know what to say. She never good at expressing feeling (especially with words) and after what happened last night... Well, she can’t say she free from the guilt but to be completely honest, she does feel lighter. If she thinks about it, she never lets out her emotion as much as last night in these past few years.

“You said your sister made you a scrapbook before she left, right?” Good thing Tiffany is better than her at talking and breaking the silent. “Can I see it?”

Jessica looks at the other girl blankly. It seems that reaction makes the latter feels uncomfortable judging from Tiffany’s nervous look. Tiffany’s mouth begins to open but before she’s able to says anything, Jessica rolls to Tiffany’s side of the bed, passes the latter’s legs, and open the shelf of the nightstand at Tiffany’s side, where she puts the scrapbook. She grabs it, simply puts it beside Tiffany, and rolls back to her side. No words come out from her.

Tiffany looks back and forth between the girl and the book before she lets out a sigh and says, “You can just ask me, you know.” Jessica just shrugs. “You such a weird girl.”

Jessica keeps her back toward the dark haired girl and continues inhales her cigarette. Suddenly she feels a pair of hands hold her head and lift it to a soft surface. Thighs, Jessica realizes. She looks at Tiffany’s face above her quizzically. The girl doesn’t even look at her. Tiffany hurriedly grabs the book beside her and begins to read it, but Jessica still can see the redness in her ears.

Jessica sighs and just seeks a comfortable position in Tiffany’s lap before she rolls over and buries her face in the dark haired girl bare stomach. One of Tiffany’s hands moves down to strokes Jessica’s hair. The hand moves up for a second to flip the page before it back down again.