62 : dying

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what i would give to talk to you again blue

he sits across from me in a dark room. his eyes are striking through the velvety opaque, turquoise as the sea.
"how did you hide it so well? how did you bottle it up so well?"

my voice is wildly singular in this moment. unwavering, and way too confident.

i feel cold. his hand brushes across my cheek, beneath my eye bags from trying and lying and crying and dying. he did that all the time when we were together.

"you're doing it now, red."

suddenly his gaze was sad; i'd seen this look before.

"but now you're alone. and you're not telling anyone."

"you're dying."

what i would give to talk to you again blue

—depression

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