The Pursuit Of • A Poetry Collection

119 : single

i get out of bed and brush my teeth. my hair is usually tangled underneath.
i keep my apartment cold, but not frigid. the lock on the door is always rigid.
i strung up lights around my room. the day light savings put me in gloom.
i watch the clock tick as i sit on the couch. i wonder how long til i will get out.
i ignore all my texts of the entire day. i beg one devil to come over and stay.
i swear every night i won't eat a thing. i eat all night to feel like a queen.
i do my makeup the the bathroom mirror. i sit on the floor, drawing blood like a killer.
i think about symbols within my dream. i go back to bed to avoid the whole scheme.
i want a weapon to protect myself. i can't have a weapon, for my mental health.
i call my best friend and talk about my day. i hang up the phone wishing she had stayed.
i lie in my bed and read my poetry. i don't have the energy to make it all seen.
i make my food in an new, cheap pan. i play with the knife twirling in my hand.
i hang up my blankets and pillows on the couch. i think to myself, it's only my house.
i look in the mirror and see a girl. i look in the mirror and thoughts always swirl.
i sit in the shower to try and feel real. i scratch at my thighs to break all the seals.
i get out of bed and brush my teeth. my hair is always tangled underneath.