Sweater Paws || Calum Hood

Day 003

I'm actually looking forward to writing in this book and it's only day three. That's weird, I never thought I would actually enjoy this. Maybe it's just because I'm having a good day. It's probably that. Today my YouTube channel reached 500,000 subscribers. That's amazing. I wasn't even paying attention to my subcriber count because I didn't start my channel for that I started it as an escape, it started as my little escape, a get away, somewhere I could turn to when real life was too much. This escape now has 500,000 people enjoying it. That's amazing. But it's also stressful, I can't help but feel bad. What if I stuff and offend people, or what if they stop liking me. I don't want to hurt anyone. Anyway I bet it's all a joke and they don't really like me. I bet they all laugh at me behind my back talking about how bad my videos are.
NO. I need to stop this. I just don't understand why I have to think like this. I'm so pessimistic and that's why people don't like me but I can't help it. I wish I could. Maybe then people would like me.

I guess I just have to remeber that I started my YouTube channel for me and not for them I guess.

That's all I have to say. I don't know how to end these things so umm bye?

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YAY for 500,000 subcribers, look how far you've come since then babe. You deserve it, your videos are amazing xx

A/N incase you were wondering her 'nobody likes me' thoughts aren't depression they are social anxiety, and also I don't not mean to offend anyone by writing this and I myself do not suffer from social anxiety (I do suffer from general anxiety and panic disorder though) so as I said please do not take offence, this is a work of fiction