When The Lights Go Out

4. Hope is in believing.

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."-Helen Keller.

And that's the bell.

"We should hang out after school. I don't know anybody and you could show me around." Cecilia Rose probably didn't know what she had asked of me at that moment. It was an impossible thing, and yet it could be done somehow.

And with energy and hope that I didn't know yet the origin of, I said "Yes, why not, I don't have a car, I have a bike so there's that, but otherwise I wouldn't mind."

This was probably the most reckless thing I was going to do, in my whole senior year.

I have come to realise that being friends with someone is the most reckless thing you can ever do, simply because you never know what you will have to do for them.

"Great then I will come and meet you at the bike stand, I just walk home, my home isn't that far, so I don't really have a car or something either." and with that Cecilia Rose, swished away from me and into whichever class she had to go. Leaving me alone in my thoughts. At least I knew this place, so I couldn't make a fool of myself. I turned the corridor and went to my next class.

In each class, I took out my black binder and I entered names of places on the only other list in that notebook.

I had more than fifty ideas on how to die, and this new list was written on the last page on the binder, the same way one does rough work on the last page of the notebook, because its not as important as the formal work, and you don't want the prettiness of the work to go away. I only had one place that I wanted to show her, at least for today.

So when the bell rang for the end of the day, I rushed to my bike. It was probably the only time I had shown so much excitement, if somebody had been noticing me, my whole life, they would have been shocked.

And so I went and stood near my bike and waited for Cecilia Rose to come and meet me where she told me she would. I had never waited so eagerly for anyone before, probably because I had never had anyone to wait for, before.

And so I waited for five minutes.

And then ten minutes.

Whenever I over stress or think too much about something, my right eye starts to twitch. I don't know how it started but it did. Right now my eye was twitching so much I couldn't see properly.

And just as I was about to lose hope, Cecilia Rose rounded the corner and came and stood near me.

I tightened the grip I had on the handle of the bike.

"Sorry, my teacher just held me back to explain what I had missed. I can't believe you waited." Cecilia chuckled as she finished the sentence.

I sighed a breath of relief. When she had opened her mouth, I thought I had blown it somehow, without even doing anything, blown the chance to have a friend.

"It's all right. I didn't mind, are you ready to go now?" It wasn't okay. But I couldn't tell her that. She didn't even know me that well yet, and she probably wouldn't even understand the calm and the chaos in my mind.

"Let's go. I will just text my mom." Cecilia said as we fell into a comfortable pace. I had already texted my mom, she had been very, very surprised. I knew that was a conversation that would need to take place as soon as I went back home. TO give my parents credit, they knew me very well. And so, they knew how I felt about meeting new people. However, it was only this morning that I had been thinking about how I wanted a friend before dying. Maybe Death had heard me. He was my truest friend after all. Hmm. Isaac would question me too, now that I thought about it.

"So, how long have you been in this school?" Cecilia asked as she pocketed her phone. "All my life." I was horrible at small talk. Or any talk.

"Really, we shift all the time. I have never lived in a place for more than two years. It's fun but I can never make any friends." I looked at her as she finished her sentence. I was surprised she said she didn't have friends. Well, it goes to show, how anyone could be in need of a friend.

I don't think I personally need a friend. I am fine on my own.

"That's okay, I don't have a huge bunch of friends either, and I have lived in this place for seventeen years." I told her. To somebody, anybody I might have sounded pathetic, but when I looked at Cecilia she just nodded. Like she understood, how difficult it would be to interact with people.

"I am sorry if I don't talk much. I am not used to people." I don't know why I told her, but if she was going to be with me for a couple of days she should know. I wasn't a fool, I knew she was going to leave after a couple of days. She might make actual friends, that would talk normally.

"That's okay. Where are we going anyway?" she asked. She was really nice. Almost too nice. But that was nice too.

I looked at her.

"The End."

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I am sorry I am dramatic.

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