Trials and Tribulations

Chapter 28

"Camz," Lauren said, taking her girlfriends hand in her own across the table. They were sat together in the cafeteria at lunch the following Tuesday and Lauren watched as Camila ignored her lunch to stare across the room at Dinah who was sat with Ally and Normani. "This is getting ridiculous," Lauren noted. "It's been almost a week and you've still not made up with Dinah...Ithought that you'd decided to talk to her." "I did," Camila confirmed, averting her eyes back to Lauren who was watching her puzzled. "So..." Lauren prompted confused, "what happened?" "I happened," Camila said in response and Lauren visibly saw the irritation etched across her face as she spoke. "I don't understand," Lauren admitted frowning. "Ever since I'd discussed it with you and my therapist last week I've been planning to talk to her," Camila explained. "It's just that, every time I've tried, I

can't..." "Camz I know you're nervous about how she'll react but I promise you, Dinah will be fine." Lauren reassured her. "You'll be back to mocking each other in no time, you'll..." "No," Camila interrupted in order to clarify. "I mean, I physically can't." "Oh," Lauren replied finally understanding. "I see..." she said, not sure what else to say. Camila groaned as she ran her free hand through her hair and looked back over at Dinah. "I tried to say 'hello' to her in the hallway yesterday," Camila admitted as she turned back to face Lauren who was still watching her with interest. "All that came out was a few strangled noises," Camila explained. "I probably sounded deranged." "What did she say?" Lauren asked, not for one moment believing that Dinah wouldn't have tried to capitalise on Camila's sudden attempt to communicate with her after a prolonged period of estrangement. "She said 'hi,'" Camila shared her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment at the recollection of yesterday's interaction. "Then she asked me how I'd been and if I was doing better." "Camz please tell me you answered her," Lauren pleaded, tilting her head in order to try and read Camila's face as her girlfriend dropped her gaze to the table and covered her eyes with her free hand. "I couldn't," Camila replied avoiding Lauren's searching look. Camila shook her head slightly from side to side mortified by the memory. "Ijust stared at her for a minute and then when Itried to speak, nothing would come out," Camila told Lauren. "Nothing, not one word. Not a single sound." Lauren made a sympathetic face and

squeezed Camila's hand prompting her to continue with the story. When Camila didn't, Lauren asked, "What happened next?" "She asked me if I was alright," Camila finally said, lifting her eyes to meet Lauren's again. "I think she thought I was about to have a seizure or something," Camila went on thoughtfully. "I couldn't speak or do anything so I...I walked off..." Camila finished evidently frustrated with herself. "Camz," Lauren said with a mixture of understanding and disappointment in her voice at Camila's admission. "You've been doing incredibly over the last week," Lauren told her seriously. "I know," Camila agreed and Lauren smiled at the words, pleased that she was starting to acknowledge her own achievements, the small victories that she'd won. "I really think that increasing my therapy sessions to twice a week has made a difference," Camila went on. "I think the doctor increasing the dose of your antidepressants has helped as well," Lauren noted. "I know that you weren't keen when they suggested it..." Lauren recollected. "No, but they were right to do it," Camila admitted. "I mean, I think it's really helped me." She paused for a moment before adding uncertainly, "but, what do you think?" "Camz," Lauren said as she played with her girlfriends' small fingers in her own. "The difference between you last week and this week is huge." She informed her positively. "You're like a completely changed person." "Ifeel much more like myself," Camila shared

honestly. "You're acting much more like yourself," Lauren concurred. "The last couple of weeks you've been so withdrawn and...low," Lauren said, struggling to think of the appropriate word to use. "Now when I look at you, the sparkle is back in your eyes and you're interested in things again..." "I'm still not a hundred percent though," Camila interceded quickly, reluctant to accept the praise. "No but you're getting there Camz and that's the main thing." Lauren told her. "Everything finally seems to be getting back on track." "I'm so pleased that they've finally managed to sort out my medication properly," Camila said delighted. "I think it's much easier for me to be happy when I'm not in so much pain or profusely bleeding from my nose." "Ithink you're right," Lauren replied smiling at Camila. "One nosebleed in a week is better than eight, right?" Camila asked referring to the one she'd had during home room last Friday. "Definitely," Lauren agreed. "Plus, your doctors think that they should stop completely once you've been on the new pills for a few weeks so, hopefully that will be the last one." "Fingers crossed," Camila said as she performed the gesture with her free hand. "I'm really proud of you," Lauren told Camila genuinely, squeezing her hand again in support. "I know the last week hasn't been easy but, you've really tried. I know you don't really like doctors so I was surprised when you went back to see them last Thursday about your medication..." "Well, my mom made me go back to see them," Camila confessed, her voice quiet. "She wasn't satisfied after what