Trials and Tribulations

Chapter 14

Lauren carefully pulled into a vacant parking space in the lot and turned her key in the ignition, shutting off the car engine. She turned to Camila who was gazing out of the passenger window in the direction of the football field a thoughtful expression on her face. "Hey," Lauren said, observing Camila's faraway expression and noting the silence that had fallen between them. She placed a hand on Camila's arm and she turned her attention back to Lauren, a smile gracing her lips reflexively. "Are you alright?" Lauren asked her concerned. "If you're not feeling up to this I can take you home?" "No," Camila replied quickly. "I don't want to go home." "So you're alright?" Lauren asked her. "It's just you look kind of tense... Are you finding this weird? This doesn't have to be a date if it's too soon, we can..." "No," Camila interrupted her, placing a reassuring hand on Lauren's knee. "I want it to be a date." "Ok," Lauren said with evident relief in her voice. "So...then what is it?" "I just, I don't know how good my company will be tonight, you know, as a date," Camila told her, struggling to express her thoughts clearly. "What do you mean?" Lauren asked confused. "Well," Camila started, dropping her eyes to her lap where she was once again playing with her fingers nervously. "I mean...it takes a lot for me to concentrate on the game so...you

know...I sometimes lose the conversation that's going on...I don't want...you'll ... I don't mean to...it's just..." "Camz," Lauren said, putting her hand under Camila's chin and turning her head to meet her gaze. "Don't worry about it alright? Just...relax a little bit." "I'm really trying," Camila said simply and Lauren smiled sadly at her. "I know you are," Lauren responded sincerely. "You don't have to try and be someone else with me though Camila, you know that right?" she asked. "Yeah, but..." Camila started. "No," Lauren cut her off. "I know who you are," Lauren told her seriously. "I understand that sometimes things are difficult for you and that you get lost or distracted. Those things don't bother me, ok? They're part of the reason that I started to like you in the first place." "It might be frustrating for you though," Camila said. "You might get fed up of me asking you questions all the time..." "If you ask me questions then I'll answer them," Lauren informed her interjecting. "You'll probably have to keep repeating yourself," Camila continued still worried. "Great! Ilove the sound of my own voice," Lauren joked. "I'm serious," Camila protested. "So am I," Lauren told her a smile creeping onto her lips. "I'll repeat things a hundred times if that's what you need." "What if I'm trying to concentrate on the game and I don't talk to you?" Camila asked her worriedly. "You know, because I can't, or Iforget, or..." "Then we don't talk," Lauren replied simply.

"We've sat in comfortable silence numerous times before Camila, and I'm sure we'll do it a whole lot more in the future." "I know but this is a date," Camila said. "Aren't you supposed to talk on dates? You know, get to know each other better." "That's the great thing about dating someone you're already friends with," Lauren answered. "You already know them. It takes the pressure off a little bit." "I just don't want you to be bored or to think that I don't want to be here with you or something..." Camila started, "because I do, I..." "Camila," Lauren interrupted earnestly. "We could have stayed at your house, sat in complete silence and watched a movie from separate seats tonight and this would still be one of the best dates I've ever been on." "You're just saying that," Camila replied doubtfully. "I'm not," Lauren assured her sincerely. "I know that you don't believe it but, it's the truth. Time wasted, sitting in silence with you, isn't time wasted to me. In fact, I think it's time well spent." Camila smiled slightly at Lauren's words. "I like being with you," Lauren continued when Camila didn't say anything. "I read what you'd written in your letter to me and I understand completely, alright? There's no rush for me. I'm happy taking things slowly. I promise." "For now," Camila told her, "but, what about later on? There'll come a point where you want more and what if I'm still not ready?" "Then I'll wait," Lauren said honestly. "What if I'm never ready?" Camila asked watching Lauren's face closely for her reaction. "What if I can never give you everything that you want?" "Then, I'll wait some more"