The Wrinkly Orange Bitch

Breaking Britain

Donald sat in silence in his cell while Borris talked to the officers. He had been kind enough to come down to the station to help Donald.

"Y-yes yes, I do know that fat ugly er- wrinkly orangutan as you er- phrased it."

The officer came to open Donald's cell door.
"Next time prime minister, keep an eye your grandad." One of the officers told Borris.

Donald was quite upset by this statement, after all, he was only 74. He ran out if his cell and straight up to Borris who gave a shriek of disgust as Donald embraced him in a tight hug.

Borris took Donald back to 10 Downing Street, the guards were reluctant to let him in but eventually let him enter.

Borris gave Donald clothes and food and Donald was very grateful. He felt that this was a time for him and Borris to grow close. Very close.

Donald was glad to spend the rest of the day with Borris but soon Borris had to go and make a speech about some virus thingy, must be a British thing, Donald knew there was no virus in America. Obviously.

Borris was due to do his speech at 5pm but Donald had made dinner plans for the two of them so it was delayed to 6pm. However, Donald then complained about being left alone so he was allowed to come to the pre-speech meeting.

Donald had absolutely no clue what these people were on about. A virus? A lockdown? People dying? He was glad america wasn't in this state.

A few hours later, Borris had just finished his speech and was about to leave when he remembered something. Something important that he should tell the rest of the country.

"And er- oh yes. Er- er- I have some er- news. Some may find this good er- news, others not so much. Er- the-the news is er- a friend of mine, a well respected friend of mine er- has come to stay. I er- just wanted to announce that the er- former president of the United States of America has er- come to stay. Goodnight."

It was as if time had stopped. Britain had stopped. All over the country Brits fell to their knees, Brits dropped their beloved tea. You could literally hear every single Brit scream at the top of their lungs, "WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK BORRIS. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND. ARE YOU ON FUCKING DRUGS."

It was safe to say, the Brits weren't happy.