The Wrinkly Orange Bitch

Window whacked

The reporters were hammering at the door, trying with all their might to break it down. Donald scrambled up to the window, narrowly avoiding stepping in his own shit.

He ran over to the window and opened it. He began to climb out. He was doing good so far, then...

Oh shit.

His big fat orange wrinkly ass didn't fit. He was stuck.

Suddenly the door flew open and broke off it's hinges. The reporters, fueled by their need to ruin somebody else's life with a scandalous story, had broken down the door. They swarmed into the small room to see Donald hanging half in, half out the window. Donald was pissing himself he was so scared. Pee the colour of his skin ran down the wall of the cupboard (that can't be healthy). Luckily for Donald, the reporters had to breathe, and the air was full of radioactive shit fumes from his gigantic shit. The reporters were killed instantly.

However, there was one problem. Someone stood silhouetted in the doorway. They were wearing a hazmat suit so they were protected from the radiation.

They stepped over the bodies of the reporters and walked towards Donald. Donald was turning pale now (as pale as an orange can get). The figure stopped when they reached Donald's ass. Donald was positively petrified now.

The figure pulled out a baseball bat. Donald couldn't bare to think what they might do with it. Then in a poor attempt at a French girl's accent, the figure said, "I loved you Donald, I always have, but you betrayed me."

Donald knew at once who it was. Joe Biden. Now was his chance, confess his love here, now.
"Biden-"

It was too late. Biden had raised the baseball bat and took aim. He swang it full pelt at Donald's ass. The force sent him flying out of the window. He crashed to the floor two stories down and laid there, with a broken ass, crying.