𝐀 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 ━━ S. UCHIHA

XXI

※No Sasuke※

5 minutes. I stood there for 5 minutes not doing anything.

Then another 10. Another whole 10 minutes I spent lousily cleaning, thought-less, emotionless, lifeless. Maybe I wasn't entirely thoughtless... maybe I was the complete opposite. Maybe my brain was overflowing with scenarios, questions, declarations, and they canceled each other out. Or, maybe, it just condensed into a small marble of speculation, too small for me to read through and contemplate about it.

As soon as I finished the last wipe on the window, but my body goes lifeless. My arm loses its strength and drops to my side and my knees buckle before unlocking and pulling my body to the ground. My head fills with bricks and tips forward, hitting the wall. I'd mind the pain, but regret was all I could feel right now.

I didn't really know what to feel, actually. Am I supposed to feel guilty that I had the audacity to say those things to him and react horribly when he did the same to me? Am I supposed to regret letting my emotions take over because of some guy... because...

When a slight sting from my arm zaps me, I snap out of my thoughts. What the hell am I even doing? Thinking about my mistakes will solve nothing.

The bell rings, signifying we have 5 minutes before our next term period starts. Obviously not excited from the previous events and that it's Monday morning, I groggily get up from my sitting position and tidy up the cleaning supplies. The hallway doesn't look any different, mostly because the school is always constantly clean from our daily morning and afternoon cleanup sessions. It's tedious, but it does make one feel refreshed.

Maybe I've told you this before, but I'm not the extroverted friend of the school. I'm an introvert (or ambivert), and I tend to stay around Hinata, my one true best friend since forever. I would go out and make more friends, but I'm terrified and would get sick to the stomach if I tried to do that. Sure, I can hold conversations well, that doesn't mean I'm skilled in that field. I can't handle social pressure, whether it's from one person or everyone. It makes me feel out of place and nervous to the point my hands shake and this uncomfortable feeling in my chest becomes the only thing I feel. I get scared, anxious about the mistakes I'll make in front of them. I'm frightened, to say the least.

Which is why when I walked into the classroom with my handful of cleaning stuff and noticed everyone's eyes staring me down, I almost had a breakdown then and there. Turning my back to the classroom while forcing my emotions to chill for a bit, I open the cabinet where the cleaning supplies lived.

Well, if only it was that simple.

My hands shake the entire time as I reach for the handle. My breath even rattles, too, no matter how I try to calm myself. Once I reach the handle, the cool metal sent chills through my arm. I turn it just enough to open it up.

Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard for me to do the tiniest tasks under small pressure. So what if I make a mistake? Everyone will judge you until the day you die. It's one mistake, it's not like it's the end of the world. It might be the end of the world for you.

Shut up. I will not.

I place the items in their rightful places, close the cabinet door slow enough that it doesn't make a loud creaking sound as I close it. The class will be starting soon, so I take my seat.

Hinata taps my shoulder. "You okay?" she whispers.

I nod. There's no need to tell her the events that happened out in the hall. If she suspects, then she'll push the subject until I spill the beans, but I don't need her worrying about her two classmates always getting into pointless fights. Especially when I'm her best friend, and the guy I'm arguing with is best friends with her crush. I cannot even begin to imagine the stress she'd pile up inside her until things got resolved. That's just the way she is...