From Louisiana to LA

Backyard confessions

It had been an entire week since I had actually talked to Dylan, and here I was just laying on the grass in my backyard in my bikini trying to get a tan. I was supposed to be figuring out the music for the very last song, but I couldn't help but be distracted by the fact that this had been the longest time I'd gone without really talking to him; the last song, as they actually all were, was about Dylan and it was very personal - it's hard to write something for the person you want but can't have. I sat layed down for hours without any interruptions until the back gate opened, but I didn't realise because I had headphones in listening to music; out of the blue I felt someone's cooler hands touch my warm back and I rolled over onto my back with a scream until I saw that it was just Dylan.
"Holy freakin ...." I trailed off breathless, pulling my headphones out,
"Hey you, what are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry for scaring you, but that was really funny." Dylan chuckled.
"No worries," I smiled, "but seriously, what's up? I thought you'd be hanging out with your girlfriend."
The smile that was on his face quickly turned into a frown the moment I mentioned his girlfriend; what was going on there?
"Dylan..... Is everything ok?" I sat up and scooted closer to him.
"I don't really want to talk about it, but - she broke up with me Cayleigh." His voice trembled slightly.
I had no words for this; I'd always been single so I don't really know what he was going through. Even though I had always wanted to be his girlfriend, he was always happy with this girl I hadn't ever even met and that was ok with me - as long as he was happy I could deal with the heartbreak it caused me. To Dylan so sad was even more heartbreaking than not being with him as his girlfriend.
"Oh Dyl." I sighed as I pulled him in for a hug, "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologise - it's not your fault. It's just hard on her with me being busy and away a lot." H tried to give me a small smile.
"Dylan, you know you don't have to do that with me, right?" I asked him.
"What?" He reacted defensively.
"This... This acting tough thing. I know it hurts and that you must be heart broken. We've known each other since we were little Dylan - do you really think I can't notice when you're hurting and want to cry? Just let it out, I'm here for you." I told him gently.
He just stared at me for few minutes before he let a few tears slip and he started spilling everything to me - about how happy he was with her and how upset he was now that they had called it quits. I sat there and listened as he just rambled on and on about how he was feeling - I added in a few choice wise words of wisdom every once in a while, hopefully making him feel better. We must have sat there just talking for at least over an hour before Dylan was done talking and just needed to breathe.
"It'll be ok Dylan - I promise, I'm here whenever you need me." I took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
"Thanks Cayls - I can always count on you, you're the best friend I could ever ask for." He smiled, squeezing my hand back.
"Ya, best friends." I repeated with less enthusiasm then he had.
"Everything ok?" He asked suddenly, obviously noticing my change of tone.
"Totally ok, just getting over heated and dehydrated." I lied.
"Well, then let's get you inside to cool off in the air conditioning." Dylan worried, helping me to my feet.
Now that I was standing up I really did feel like I was over heated and dehydrated - I felt light headed and just really hot.
"Dylan .... I think I need to sit down." I mumbled as I took a wobbly step.
He immediately helped me over a few meters to the tree in my yard and sat me down under it and left to go into my house, he returned a few shirt moments later with a glass of water and handed it to me as he took a seat beside me.
"I even got you a straw." He smiled, putting it in the glass.
I gave him a small smile as I took a long drink, having almost Hal the glass before I found the need to breathe again.
"Thank you - that's so nice." I sighed.
"You're welcome - it's the least I can do after talking for an hour straight." He chuckled.
"I really don't mind you know - it's what friends are for." I mentally cringed.
Dylan then said something under his breath that contained the word date - but I didn't catch the rest of it.
"What did you say?" I wondered.
"Oh! Nothing; just how it's a nice day to be outside." He replied quickly.
"Right." I frowned.
We sat under the tree just enjoying the sun from our shaded area, my head on his shoulder as his hand was on my knee - to the people who didn't know us they probably would've thought that we were a couple, but anyone that did know us knew that this was just us and it always had been; we were just totally and completely comfortable with each other.
"You know - you're mum said something funny the other day after you left." I said without thinking.
"Oh ya? What was that?" He asked.
"She was saying how she always thought you and I would end up together because we're so close." I replied quietly.
"Ya, she was always bugging me about that." Dylan chuckled, "do you like her? You should ask her out! You know she likes you right? Are you guys a couple yet?" He imitated his mums voice.
"That sounds just like her - your impressions are getting better." I laughed.
"Ya. I guess so." Dylan sighed awkwardly.
"Dylan?"
"Cayleigh?"
"Why did we never get together?" I asked, "like, as more than friends."
"Because I never wanted to ruin our friendship and ask you out - plus I ended up getting a girlfriend anyways." He answered honestly.
"Wait, rewind! You WANTED to ask me out? Like, you liked me like that?" I looked up at him in surprise.
"Ya, I did - but I thought if I asked you out things wouldn't be the same as before and I would lose you entirely." He admitted.
I wanted to jump up and down with joy and tell him I've felt the same way and still do - but I couldn't do that, at least not right now while he was getting over his break up. As much as I wanted to believe that he really liked me like that, I wasn't 100 percent convinced that he truly felt that way, he was probably just saying that to help him cope with his break up - he didn't mean it. So I did the only thing I could think of in the moment .... I lied.
"Well, to be honest I probably would have said no anyways - I'm pretty sure we're better off as friends .... Especially with our schedules."
It physically pained me to say it, but it had to be done for now in order to save Dylan from himself into doing something we both might regret in time - I didn't want him to ask me out and ruin things, I'm pretty sure he was still into his ex.
"Ya - it's was just an entertaining thought ... It would've been really awkward." He explained rather quickly, "so how are the songs coming along?"
"Oh they're great - just one more to go!" I exclaimed excitedly.
"Sweet! Let's go take a look." He smiled, helping us both up.
We walked hand in hand back inside my house and all I could think was that he seemed really weird when we had just talked about us being an item. Did I just mess this up completely and ruin my chance at having my dream guy?