Stay Down [A Crankiplier fanfic]

six

A week and a half into the tour - almost halfway done

"That was a great show! The best one yet, if you ask me!" Wade cheered happily.

"Okay, well the rest of us are hungry, can we discuss this over dinner?" Tyler whined. The others laughed, but agreed. They all piled into the men's bus to discuss dinner plans. When a plan was settled, Amy and Kathryn returned to their bus, and the two buses took off.

Ethan sat on his and Mark's bed. Mark walked in, sitting on his side. Neither of them spoke. It was just silence. Ethan was on his phone. He hadn't told anyone what happened, and neither did Mark. They never planned to tell anyone. Like an unspoken promise.

Despite his efforts, Ethan couldn't get away from Mark. Just as before, Ethan wanted to avoid Mark because being around him made Ethan act strange. Knowing why only made it worse. Ethan never had an attraction to men before, so what was it about Mark that changed him? He was just an average dude, right? There were plenty of men more attractive than Mark, but Ethan found they were only attractive. Mark was different. He was more than attractive. He was beautiful. He was handsome. He was perfect, inside and out, and Ethan wasn't. He was bland, and boring. He was small and weak. He knew he had no chance with Mark, and Mark was probably straight anyway, so it wouldn't even matter.

However, Mark saw how perfect Ethan really was. He was funny, his comedic timing couldn't be better, he was very adorable, he got along with everyone pretty quickly, and he was extroverted enough to equal out how introverted Mark actually was. He found Ethan to be beautiful in every way.

The buses pulled up to the restaurant. They all climbed out, and headed in. Unfortunately, they couldn't get a table that had enough chairs for all of them, so the groups broke off into two groups of two, and a group three. Bob, Wade, and Tyler were the group of three. Amy and Kathryn were one group of two, and Mark and Ethan were the other group of two. 

The two men took their seats. Ethan chewed on his lip. He tried to avoid eye contact with Mark. 

"So... we've only got about 2 weeks left of tour... Last show is in LA, so that's nice. We'll be back home," Mark said. Ethan nodded. 

"Yeah, I'll be happy to be home, but I'm not sure how I'll feel about no longer being on tour," he said. Mark nodded. 

"Yeah, I feel about the same. I'm excited for the last show," Mark said, a smile on his face. He was watching Ethan. Ethan seemed distant. 

"I guess I'm excited too," Ethan said. Mark could see that Ethan didn't really want to talk. Mark sighed.

"Did I do something wrong? Like don't think I haven't noticed you avoiding me," Mark said. Ethan finally looked at him, his face red.

"I haven't been avoiding you!" Ethan said quickly. Mark shook his head. 

"Ethan, you know you can't lie to me," he said. Ethan sighed. 

"I-I'm not-!" Ethan's face was a bright red. He didn't think he was being that obvious. 

"Ethan, stop. Please just tell me the truth," Mark said softly. Ethan looked down at the table. 

"I... I have kind of been avoiding you, but not for any bad reason-!" he said. Mark sighed sadly.

"Then why?" Mark said, hurt. Ethan took a breath. It was too late to turn back now. 

It was now or never. 

"Mark, if I told you why, you'd never look at me the same," he said. Mark sighed again. 

"Ethan, I already look at you differently then how I look at anyone else," he said. Ethan looked at him, confused, but quickly moved on.

It was now or never. 

"I don't care how you think of me, because I-" he paused. Mark rose a brow. 

"Because you..?" he said. Ethan's face was boiling hot, and his hands were sweating. His heart was pounding out of his chest, and the butterflies in his stomach were raving. 

"I love you, Mark," he whispered, too quiet for Mark to hear him. 

"What?" Mark said, leaning forward. Ethan sighed. 

Today isn't the day.

"I'm looking for my own place. I mean I have been. It's nothing wrong with you, I just don't want to always be dependant on you. You're a great person, and it's great living with you, but I just... need my own space," he said sadly. Mark watch him for a second. 

"Okay... Just know, you're welcome to stay for as long as you need, or want," Mark said sweetly. He had a feeling that Ethan didn't want to move out. He hoped his feeling was correct. He didn't want Ethan to move out. He wanted Ethan to stay with him forever, but he didn't want to force him into anything. 

"Thanks," Ethan said. Mark could see there was something else on his mind, but he really didn't want to push him anymore.

The two ate in mostly silence, up until the end. 

"Can we talk about... the first night on the bus?" Mark asked, causing Ethan to look at him.

"What's there to talk about?" he said. Mark rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Maybe I dreamt it," Mark said looking away. He knew it wasn't a dream, but he suddenly wanted to back out of the topic entirely. 

"Tell me about it?" Ethan said, looking back down at his food. Mark took a breath.

"You had another nightmare. I woke you up before you started screaming, and almost as if you didn't know what was real, you freaked out, so I grabbed you and we just locked eyes, and you relaxed. I told you I wouldn't go back to sleep until I knew you were okay, and you said you were okay, and went back to sleep, or I thought you were asleep, but then..." Mark paused. Ethan's face was burning. 

He thinks it was a dream? Should I tell him it wasn't a dream?

"Th-Then..?" Ethan said, never once looking back at Mark. 

"Then you suddenly asked me to hold you. I did, and we kind of fell asleep like that. It was actually really nice," Mark finished, his face reddening. 

I've got to tell him that wasn't a dream..

"That wasn't a dream-" Ethan said, rubbing the back of his neck. Mark watched him. He smiled a bit. 

"Well, thanks for that," he said. Ethan finally looked at him. 

"Why?" he asked confused. Mark shrugged.

"It feels nice to be wanted," he said. Just then, Amy slid in the chair next to Ethan, throwing her arm over his shoulders. 

"Hey goofs, the rest of us are ready to go, are you two good to go?" she asked smiling. 

"Yeah, I'm just going to get a box for my food," Ethan said, standing up, and walking away.

Amy leaned towards Mark.

"Okay so spill. What did you two talk about?" she smiled wildly. Mark rolled his eyes and explained. She was so giddy.

"My god, he is head over heels in love with you!" she said excitedly. Just then Ethan returned to the table. 

"Who's head over heels for who?" he asked. Amy looked at him.

"Uh, Ethan, that's a cool shirt, where'd you get it?" she asked, standing up. He smiled, and the two walked away talking. Mark let out a breath and paid for the food.