Lavender Kisses✔ (Johnmark)

8

*MATURE THEMES*

Johnny stopped dead in his tracks. He let go of mark's jeans and moved his hands away from mark's waist. He looked up at mark and saw how concerned he looked.

"what's wrong?" johnny asked softly.

"I'm... I'm sorry johnny... i... I don't think I'm ready for this..." mark sounded disappointed in himself and apart of him was.

Johnny sat up and looked into mark's eyes.

"Hey, hey, that's okay baby. There's no need to apologize."

Mark put his face in his hands feeling embarrassed and disappointed.

Johnny looked at him with a concerned expression.

"Baby? Why are you upset?"

Mark didn't move his hands.

"I just... I feel like an idiot." Mark admitted.

"what? Why? Baby, it's completely okay if you aren't ready. I'm worried you were gonna let me do this without you being okay with it. Why didn't you just say you were uncomfortable?" johnny's tone was quiet and gentle. He wanted mark to talk to him and not feel awkward or embarrassed.

"I don't know...you seemed like you wanted to, and I thought I did too...but when it was actually about to happen i... I don't know... I panicked..."

Johnny gave him an understanding nod.

Mark visibly hesitated for a moment before he sighed which caught johnny's attention.

"Johnny... I have to tell you something." Mark sounded terrified and it made johnny's heart ache.

Johnny crawled over to sit next to him. He placed his hand on mark's shoulder.

"mark, I want you to know that you can tell me anything okay? Don't be afraid, I love you so much, no matter what."

"I'm just worried... I don't want you to look at me differently."

"mark, I would never look at you differently. Now tell me what's on your mind."

"johnny... I'm... I've never had sex before... I'm a virgin..."

Johnny paused for a second. He gave mark a quizzical expression.

He placed his hand on mark's shoulder.

"mark... why are you so scared to talk to me? This is something extremely important. Your first time should be on your terms, when you are ready. If you don't want to do something, then don't do it. Don't let people take that from you, especially me."

"but... I do want to do it... I guess I was just scared I wouldn't do it right... I don't really know how gay sex works..." mark scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Johnny chuckled a little without meaning to.

"why are you laughing?" mark felt like a child, he was embarrassed and confused, and uncomfortable with himself.

"no, baby, I'm not laughing at you, I'm sorry, it's just, you're being so cute I can't take it."

Mark looked confused.

"cute? But I'm making a complete fool of myself." Mark said softly

"Baby, you don't have to be so nervous to tell me things. I'm not a scary person love, you can talk to me, don't be embarrassed. You're my boyfriend, I'm here to listen to you."