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Chapter one

tw/cw: bruises, ignoring somebody, lying

edited: 9/11/2021, spelling and grammar check

Logan stayed silent during yet another debate. It was originally about whether Thomas should go hang out with some friends after a relatively hard week. It was Janus against Virgil and Roman while Patton is trying to create peace and Logan being ignored. It was nothing new unfortunately.

Logan was listening but somewhere along the line he stopped and zoned out a little, gazing wherever now. He found his gaze on Janus who was agreeing but trying not to get to heating about this whole pity thing. Logan looked at Janus and noticed how beautiful he found him. His green scales and how they shine amazingly in the light, his nice bangs sweeping slight over his eyes, his different coloured eyes, his slightly pink cheek on his human side, Logan found himself looking at every small feature. Logan felt his cheeks heat up a bit.

Logan doesn't notice that he is just staring at Janus, which is probably creepy, so he doesn't stop. But something breaks his trance a little, a small bruise on his face. It was small in size and hardly noticeable but still there. The usually-Logical side starts to wonder what happened, it was probably nothing seeing how small it is and how this is the first time he noticed something like this but he still wondered what that probably small thing was. Once again lost in his thoughts, Logan continues to stare at Janus.

When Logan does come to the realization that he is weirdly staring at Janus he looks away, that had to be creepy. He didn't understand why he found merely looking at the deceitful side was so appealing, he's just another side.

Logan pushes away that small dilemma for now and tunes back into the debate where Janus and Virgil and yelling over each other. Logan sighs, accepting the fact that he won't be a part of this conversion. He considers sinking out and being done with this conversation but then it would be about the fifth time in a row he's been at a debate without debating. He didn't want to give up yet. So he stays standing there waiting for an opening.

While listening to the debate he knows that Janus is very close to winning but despite that the look on Janus's face would suggest otherwise. The look on his face was desperate, Logan found that odd. He was winning, why the face?

"YOU NEED TO TRUST ME!" Janus yells at the two opposing sides in a very desperate voice. All the others flinch at the sudden noise level. It wasn't like Janus to yell, he tried to be calm and sometimes mischievous. So this sudden blow up was beyond strange. Virgil and Roman started yelling back at him while Patton spared blankly at the floor so it was clear that Logan was the only one overthinking this but he couldn't help it, nothing aligned.

Like all things, the more Logan thought about it the more confused he got. Why so desperate? This really isn't a big deal, and why yell to trust him? Is he overreacting? But that isn't something Janus would do, he is usually very calm and collected. None of it made sense and Logan hated not knowing. So he tried and tried to make sense out of it but got himself stuck in a bigger hole of confusion. Thankfully he was taken out of his trance.

"Maybe we should let Logan have a say in this! He's the smart one after all!" Janus says, inviting Logan in the conversation. He could feel a small smile coming up but repressed it to seem unbothered and cool. He opened his mouth to begin talking.

"Oh no you don't! Don't try and let someone else speak for you, you coward!" Logan gets cut off before he even starts by Virgil. Janus and him start arguing back and forth while Logan stands there in silent disappointment. He got his hopes too high. He should've known this was going to happen. He lets out a heavy sigh, it was the only way to express himself for now.

Logan notices how close Janus is to winning this debate and how it's probably going to be over soon and sinks out, he wasn't going to be given a chance to speak, at least not this time. He lets his feet give away for a bit as he sits down at his desk, skimming the notes he had for this debate. It was funny to believe he even tried at this point, it always was the same. At least this time someone tried to bring him into conversation but it was the people who were supposed to be his friends who shut that down.

He softly chuckles to himself. Isn't that hilarious? The ones who know about how hard he tries, and one who he has openly told about how he doesn't like how he is being treated are the ones to ignore him and the one who doesn't know any of that is the one to try to help. He chuckles more, seeming as if he could stop. The people who are supposed to be his friends care less then the people who aren't. He feels his eyes burn, filling with tears. He wipes them before they can fall, this is such a silly thing to be crying over.

Logan felt a side's presence coming to his room so he looked behind him and saw Janus pop up.

"Oh, hello Janus. Is there anything I can do for you?" He asks the side in his usual monotone voice.

"I was just checking up on you." Janus says with the past desperateness gone for his face and voice, as if it never existed.

"Check up on me..? What for?" Logan asks.

"Well I've just noticed a pattern of everyone ignoring you and decided to come check up on you." Janus said.

"Oh, That. while I appreciate your concern it is nothing really." Logan lies, he didn't mean to lie, it was more of a default answer.

"Really? Because the look on your face suggests otherwise. You looked rather sad and disappointed when Virgil cut you off." Janus argues.

"Well, I do suppose I was rather disappointed about it but it's nothing to worry about." Logan argues back.

"If you insist."

The two then stay there for a few moments until Logan decides to break it.

"I have a question for you though." Janus then hums in interest. "Why did you look and sound so desperate? It wasn't exactly an important debate." Logan asks. Janus seems surprised with the question.

"Oh! I umm, must've done that by accident!" He stumbles on his words clearly lying. "It wasn't intentional." He said with his voice much smoother than before.

"I see." Logan said, detecting the lie but saying nothing about it. "What about the bruise on your cheek?"

"Bruise on me? Oh! That, no need to worry. Remus just hit me with some weapon a while ago, but I'm glad you care about me." He winks at the Logical side who tries to make sure the no emotion surfaces.

"Well it would be rather dumb not to, but if that all you are here for you can leave."

Janus looked a little surprised at that. "Very well then." he said before sinking out. Logan turns back to his desk and rests his head on it, now missing the company. But it was fine and he shouldn't miss it anyway. He nods to himself while accidentally letting a tear fall.