unbreak my heart, taejin

three

The autumn scenery was slowly losing its color. The vibrant red, yellow and orange dried away and decolorized to a withering brown. On the contrary, Seokjin's colorless canvas was suddenly splattered with different colors. Yellow- the color of a new friendship that had blossomed between Jungkook and him, Orange- the color of creativity and enthusiasm that had weaved itself into Seokjin's life on the movie set . Red-passion, desire and love and the most prevalent shade, The dark red of longing. Longing for Kim Taehyung.

seokjin's algorithm to life (may change in the future)
1. wake up and call your best friend.
2. complain about your (1) colleague and gain absolutely no sympathy."i warned you hyungie- i did my part"
3. cook and eat a healthy breakfast and rush to work.
4. greet jungkook as soon as you arrive at work and treat him with your home cooked healthy breakfast.
5. ask hoseok about his day as you change your outfit and get your makeup done.
6. do what you love doing, i.e. acting.
7. remind yourself that all conversation and dialogues shared with your colleague is an act.
8. avoid all eye contact with the said colleague whenever possible
9. do not space out and think about your past with the said colleague.
10. drive home as soon as work is over. no hanging out with jungkook after the shoot, said colleague will be there too.
11. try to practice the dialogues for the next day.
12. have a light dinner and listen to music. also listen to your best friends music, it's good!
13. try to stop thinking about the said colleagues' smile and fall asleep but fail miserably and instead spend the night reminiscing about the past. 
14. repeat from step 1 again.

The past two weeks of Seokjin's life were all based on an algorithm Seokjin had set up for himself. The algorithm wasn't efficient but Seokjin didn't mind as long as his brain had a code to rely on. There is no reason today would be any different. He woke up in the morning and called Yoongi as usual.

"Good morning Yoongi-chi-", Seokjin chimed as he packed four egg sandwiches into an air tight container. "Good morning hyungie- what did Taehyung do yesterday", Yoongi spoke with a sigh. Seokjin's ears turned red "Yah- why do you automatically assume that I am going to complain about him", he fumed but Yoongi did not need to answer that question. The duo were aware that it was a part of Seokjin's routine to gush over Taehyung.

"Hyungie- I am listening so you better start talking", Yoongi spoke. Seokjin took a bite of his egg sandwich before he started speaking, "I just don't understand- understand why does he behave like this", Seokjin began speaking struggling to encompass his thoughts into sentences. Yoongi hummed in response, waiting for Seokjin to complete speaking. Seokjin took another bite of his breakfast and continued, "I don't understand why he agreed to be a part of this project in the first place-", Seokjin whined. "I told you hyungie, he must have had his reason just like you did", Yoongi replied.

Seokjin grunted, "Alright, I will take your word for that but why is he always criticizing my skills. Why does he behave like there is some unspoken competition amongst us. You know I was always so appreciative and supportive of his acting career. I am just so proud of him for establishing his name in this industry. He is so cold and rude to me. I just don't understand how someone could change so much", Seokjin ranted.

"I understand you hyungie. I really do. You do need to realize that everything changes over time. I know there is no reason for him to treat you like this especially when he is the one who left you without any word in the very beginning but remember hyungie, you have to be strong. Don't take it to your heart. Imagine he isn't you Tae-Tae. He is someone else, someone you have never met. It may ease things", Yoongi cooed.

Seokjin took a deep breath, "You think I haven't tried Yoongi-chi. I have tried hard. It shouldn't be hard either because he is a very different person now but every time we begin acting it feels like I am talking to my Tae-Tae. His eyes soften up and his cheeks puff out, he smiles his full boxy smile and his eyes begin to vanish. In those moments I feel like I have traveled years back into the past. It feels so natural and real and then all of it vanishes into an act," Seokjin said patting his cheeks to dry the tears that rolled down his cheeks.