when i was your man

maybe he's the one

November 2nd, 2011

(Louis' pov)

The whole night I couldn't sleep. I just felt so lonely and sad. I could see my future, me alone sitting at home, still waiting for the love of my life. I never really had a girlfriend, which didn't bother me, but now I thought I found the one and she left me before we could even talk to eachother. My heart was empty. I could tell, that this day will be a bad day for me. And then there was school. I feel so uncomfortable around all these people. The knowing that you don't know everyone and everyone could talk shit about you, always makes me anxious. Everytime I see someone looking over, my mind tells me "They talk shit, they don't like you, nobody really likes you". Even if they aren't really looking at me, but at the person behind or infront. I still get the feeling they hate me.

While I was walking to my locker Josh walked over. I was paniking because I knew this will not end good. "Hey, Louis. Aren't you the one that got rejected by El?" My heart was breaking. I didn't even know she told someone. She said she will forget it and nobody will know. "What?" "You heard me." He came closer and closer. I don't like it when people come that close. Not even my closest friends can come that close, only when I'm drunk. My mother and my sisters are the only one, that can come that close, without me paniking. "Please go away. I don't like it when people come so close. Please." I said with a shaking voice. "Why, I'm just coming close?" He said and I could hear how his voice got deeper. "I have my reasons. Please, I don't like it." My whole body was shaking. "Aww, Lou. I just want to hug you. Come here." He put his arms around me. I couldn't handle it anymore. I tried breaking out of this cage of these terrible arms. When I got out, I just ran to the toilette. It didn't bother me if people were looking, I just had to get away now.

On my way the bell rang, but I couldn't go to class. My whole body was shaking and the tears just rolled down my eyes. I opened the door to a toilette room and sat down on the floor. My head in my Arms and my knees near to my upper body. It was terrifying. "Hello? Is anyone here?" A small voice said. I just ignored it and he didn't asked again. He went to an own toilette room and I could here how he was opening his backpack. My hand was covering my mouth, so he couldn't hear me. When I heard a little climper I realised why he asked. He didn't want anybody to know. I can't handle it, if other hurt themselves. I need to stop them. They shouldn't feel the way I felt once. "Hello? Everything okay?" I asked with a worried voice. "Wha- ehm, yes. Yeah." A sob left his mouth. "Please open the door. I don't want anybody get hurt." I heard how somebody stood up from the floor and unlocked the door. As the door opened the only thing I saw was a boy with brown curls and green beautiful eyes. "It is not what you thought I did, I was just-..." I layed my Hands on his shoulders. "It's okay, I know how you feel. You don't have to tell me anything, but please don't hurt yourself. I don't want anybody feel the pain I did." I actually don't know how I could touch him. I never touch anybody, only if I know and like them. But with him it was something different. "Thank you, but... I just can't, ughh, I can't stop it." A tear rolled down his cheeks, right on the floor. "Can I see?" I pointed on his wrists. They were covored with many bracelets and one had a bandage under them. When I took his arm I put the bracelets a bit aside and gently slided over them with my finger. "I know something hurts you, but don't cover it up with another pain." He looked me right in the eyes. "But I always feel so relieved after it and..." He stopped. "And what?" "No, nothing. Not important." He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. "Wha't your name?" "Ehm... Harry." "Beautiful name, mine's Louis, but call me Lou." A little smile on his face. "Does everyone call you like that?" "No. Actually not. Just my friends and family. And you just became a friend." My smile was big. I knew he needed someone. "Really?" His eyes widened up and his smile got bigger. "Thanks!" He said and hugged me. I don't know what was up with me, but it felt good and I didn't felt the need to get out of it. I just hugged him back and smiled. "Let's go to class. They started thirty minutes ago."

(Harry's pov)

I never had many friends. Just one. Zayn. I know him since kindergarden. Lou had to go right, when I had to go left. My heart was running and I couldn't get the smile off of my face. It was the greatest feeling to know you just got a new friend. 

"Zayn, guess what." I said with an excitement. He just looked confused and laughed. "Ok, no need to guess. I just... MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!" His eyes opened up and the confused look turned into a big smile. "Really? That's awsome, dude. You have to tell me who." "Louis." His smile was gone again, when he heard the name. "What? Louis Tomlinson? A brown haired lad?" I looked confused. I couldn't understand what's wrong with him. "What's wrong with him?" Zayn shook his head lightly. "Oh uhm... Somehow he likes you, or he plays with you. He doesn't make friends with random people. He isn't the type of person, that could talk easily anyone. He doesn't even let him hug or something, well not often." "But we hugged. He helped me. I was about, you know. And he made me stop. He even touched my scars." His eyebrowes pulled together and he looks questioning. "But how?" "I don't know. But he is really nice."

We walked to the cafeteria, so we could eat lunch. Normally we get the food and then go to the table, where some of Zayn's friends sit. I don't like them, but I don't have a problem with them. They are nice to me, but they are not the type of people I want to stay in contact with. They all smoke, and I really don't like it when people smoke. Zayn is the only person, I'm okay with smoking. Maybe because I know him since before he smoked. But he never smokes, when I'm around. Never. That's because I once told him how much I hate it and he always felt bad, when he smoked around me, so he just stopped. "Harry!" I winced. I was definitly not used to someone calling my name. As I turned around I could see how a boy with brown hair tried to look over the heads of everyone else. He is so small. To see how a head always came shot up, made me giggle. "Harry. Oh my god, thankfully you are so tall." He was so out of breath. "You are literally so small." I laughed. "'M not. I'm big." He tried to make himself taller, but when I looked at his feet I could see how he was standing on his toes. "Yeah, really big. Maybe 5'7?" "Nah-ah. I'm 5'9." He shook his head. "Whatever you want to believe. But no, definitly not, you're way too small." "You're an arse, Harry." His smile is so beautiful. The crinkles by his eyes are so adorable. He even has one dimple on the right.

After school I was on the way to a café. Nobody was home and I think it's boring alone at home, so I decided to do my school stuff at my favorite café. It was small and cute. Everything was decoraded with gold. There were so many plants hanging from the ceiling. Round metal tables and some metal chairs with beautiful ornaments. I ordered a tea and a muffin and sat down at one table at the window. I love to look at the streets in London, especially the old ones with the old houses. It was slowly getting winter, so the sun went down around 5 p.m. Because I had school until 4.30 p.m., it was getting dark outside. After thirty minutes, two cups of tea and two muffins, a very familiar boy walked past. "Is that Louis?" I said to myself. I looked at the clock for a second and when I looked back out of the window, he wasn't there anymore. I just heard the bell, that always rang, when someone opened the door. So I looked around the café and gasped when I saw, who came in. "Louis?" I called through the café. "Harry? What are you doing here?" He came over. "What does it look like?" I said and grinned. "Right, sorry." He laughed and sat down infront of me. "And what are you doing here?" "That's my moms café. I just wanted to ask her something, not much." I looked confused. "Why don't you just call her? That's way easier." He smiled. I love this smile. It's the prettiest thing I've ever seen. It reminds me of the sun. So bright and hopeful. "Oh, we live above. Just need to go down the stairs." "Oh, okay." He looked around for a second, but then turned back to face me. "Want me to show it?" "Sure." I smiled at him and I really couldn't stop.