GIVE IN.

Nine.

BLUE HANDKERCHIEF.

Pile of papers were scattered above a wooden table in front of a glass window. Afternoon sunlight was peeking in every gap of a light blue curtain hanging on a steel. It was Saturday and classes of every faculty are already dismissed for their morning classes. Beam who was sitting in front of the wooden table, jumble another piece of paper and throw it in a trash bin beside his bookshelf. It is his tenth piece of paper that he crumbled and threw for the passed one hour. He's currently doing his assignments that will be pass two weeks from now, yet he's here in his room and doing the assigned tasks than celebrating with his friends as their exam came to an end yesterday. He's not in the mood to go out and hang out like he used to do, it seems like his broken heart wants to study more, than going out and drink his pain and regrets out.

"This is much better." He mumbles to himself as he pick his pen up and try to write another sentence for his paperwork.

Minutes has passed, yet there's no single word he once write to the paper. His pen was just hanging on the thin air between his hand and the laid paper. He didn't know how to start nor where to start. His mind was clouding again as he gaze at his trembling hands. Slowly, he close his eyes and take a deep breath as he put his pen down the wooden table. He sigh loudly as if there's no tomorrow. He's actually tired not physically but mentally and emotionally. All things jumbled up to his mind and now he didn't know what to do or what to think. He feels like he's going crazy because of all the things that had happened in his life for the past weeks.

Its been two months since he and Forth had the talked in the Central Bench. After that thing happened, they never spoke again as if they never knew one another. They act such they never met once in this lifetime. They act such they never kissed before or they never once exist on one another's universe.

"Well, it's for the better." Phana said once, when Beam and the latter accidentally met in a store outside the university. That day, Beam and Phana decided to buy some medical books for their paperworks and suddenly, in a not intended situation, they met the Engineering student on one of sections of the bookstore. They didn't talk, neither greet one another. Phana is the only one who initiated to greet Forth, and so as the latter didn't tried to greet and look at Beam. The awkward atmosphere lingered on three of them as the thick deafening silence hovered them, and as if the universe on his side that day, uncomfortable atmosphere was ceased by a friend of Forth. Perth who was on the other side of the depot, loudly called Forth. The latter immediately bid his goodbye to them and walked towards his friend.

As the figure fade away from their sight, Phana swiftly turned his body to Beam and asked how he felt that time. "I will be good, Pha." Beam mumbled as he paced through the book section.

It was the last time he ever saw the young man, either he never had a glance of him from nowhere. Even in their university, they never once met, neither had a chance to bump onto one another. Somehow, deep inside his heart and mind, he misses the latter, but he cannot do anything but to save himself now and tell his heart everyday, to just forget. He was really trying, because at the end of this, sanity means a lot moreover, his own heart.

He sluggishly open his eyes and glance at his wallclock just above his bookshelf. It's already three in the afternoon and it seems like, his mind doesn't cooperate with him at this time. He take a deep breath and let it out for a while as he think of something he wanted to do.

In a sudden moment, he found himself standing in front of his closet. He blink his eyes, slowly open the wooden closet and gaze at the particular small box just in the corner of it. He sigh as he reach the said thing and pace through the marble floor to sit on his bed.

Beam put the small box, down to his bed and gaze at it for a while, trying to remember how it still on his possession. He sigh as he slowly open it and a sad smile crept on his face as soon as he saw the only thing he has from the young man.