BkDk

Izuku

WARNING: Cutting Will be mentioned and demonstrated in this Chapter. Don't read iF you're sensitive to the Topic!

It's been a few weeks since the day Shoto got mad at me about Kacchan. Things have been alright I guess. Shoto has become a little more aggressive and possessive, in a bad way... Just two days ago, he saw me talking to the teacher after class and called me a 'Slut'  and claimed I was trying to seduce my way to a good grade. Which I wasn't but I didn't get a chance to argue with him.

 He pushed me onto the bed right after we came from school, he pushed me into my drawer next, He continued pushing me around until he felt satisfied. He did the same thing he'd do after every time he'd hit me. He pulled me into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. He'd clean my bruises he made, and wrap up my bleeding. After that, he's put everything back, without saying a word he would go lay down and fall asleep.

It goes like this every other day. Today was one of those days.

Right now I'm on my bed curled into a ball, crying a little from the pain. Shoto had kicked me multiple times Hard in the shin about 20 minutes ago. . What was the reason you ask? I accidentally spilled my coffee on his porch... I deserved those kicks though. Like he said,' i am always making mistakes' or 'i can't do anything right'. How am I 19 and still spill things? Or like the other day, I tripped on my shoelaces and knocked Shoto's phone off the table. This in which i of course got hit for..... but you see? I'm too clumsy and jumpy. 

Shit.

 I yelp quietly as another wave of pain goes through my legs. Shoto didn't have time to wrap me up this time. He had other plans. I know it's not right but I miss him right now. He keeps leaving after he cleans me up, or as I said earlier, he'd sleep.

He hasn't slept in the same bed with me for 2 weeks. I miss his warmth next to me, the way he'd hold me as a drifted off to sleep. I miss the old Shoto. But I had to mess things up and make him angry. Shit. I painfully sit up and look around, my eyes travel the room for something sharp. My eyes land on a blade  Shoto usually keeps in his pocket just in case. He probably left it there on accident. I haven't done or thought of this since I was thirteen. ...I used to get bullied a lot and cutting was one of my ways out. It helped numb the other pain and emotions. Maybe it can help now...

I limp over to Shoto's bed, where the blade was sitting. Once I reach his bed, I pause for a moment. Do I really want to start this habit again? What will mom say? She had caught me once and took me to a therapist, she then his all the sharp objects in the house for over a year. That was painful. This time I'll make sure I don't get caught, I'll be careful...I reach my hand and grab the sharp object in front of me. moving it closer to my wrist, my breath hitched. Was I scared? Probably. I did not care though, I'll have to get over it if I want to feel better.

A little whine escaped my lips as the sharp blade made contact with my pale skin. I pushed the blade further in, to the extent that a little drop of blood started coming out. I felt somewhat satisfied. Like I'm finally doing something I needed to. I lift the blade and go to another part of my wrist. Continuing this process I eventually made 4 cuts on my skin. Satisfied, I limp over to the bathroom and ran the blade underwater. Once it was clean I put it back to its original spot and limped back over to my bed.

I looked down and started at the part of my body I just cut. The cuts were still bleeding, but not as much as before. I let out a shaky breath. I kinda felt refreshed, in a good way. Why? It was probably because I felt that I've finally punished myself for being me. Ha. Shoto should've to beat me more, he needs to beat the innocent and childish kid inside of me out. The stupid kid, who is scared of everything. The ugly kid who has no confidence. I don't think that kid will ever go away honestly. He needs to beat me till I can't feel anymore. Ahhh sounds nice!

I lay my head down on my pillow, I am not tired but I have nothing to do. I roll over into my side to reach my nightstand. Grabbing my phone from it, I groan and turn back over. I haven't checked my phone for while, whenever Shoto gets home he takes it. He doesn't 'trust me enough' to keep it around. He also deleted Kacchan's number...I wonder if there is a way I can get it back. Does he have social media?? Maybe...

I scroll to my Instagram app and go to the search bar. 'Katsuki Bakugou' His profile popped up. Why have I not thought about this earlier??? I hesitate. When if Shoto starts checking my social accounts? Or he sees a message from Kacchan pop up?? No. I can't risk it. I put my phone down and turn to my other side. I need to find a way out of this shitty relationship.

Maybe I should ask the principal if I can get another roommate... Or maybe I can ask mom to switch my colleges. Wait but I'm making the process here! All of my grades are up and I'm passing every class, plus all of my professors are the nicest. I am too comfortable to switch schools. Not to mention I only got into this school because of a scholarship. What about asking to switch roommates? I don't think it'll make this situation any better. Shoto has almost every class as me, and he knows all of my friends.

Oh right, my friends! Shoto lets me meet up with them twice a week so they won't suspect anything. He never lets me go by myself though. He goes with me everywhere, the only time I am alone is when he leaves me in the dorm by myself.

I sigh. Where is he anyway? It's been about an hour. He usually only leaves for about 45 minutes. Is he okay??? Maybe I should check on him.

Midoryia : Shoto are you okay? It's been about 45 minutes.

Shoto <3: I'm ok

Midoryia: Then where are you? I miss you

Shoto: I miss you too, I'll be there soon

I smile as i put my phone back down. See? He's sweet when I'm not making him angry....or being annoying. I lay my head back on my pillow as I lay back down, waiting for my boyfriend,