To Live is the Rarest Thing

Chapter 14

All throughout Saturday, as they spent the day doing chores and other domestic things that needed doing, Harry felt increasingly nervous, though he had no idea why.

They walked Izzy for an hour, had leftovers from their Thanksgiving extravaganza for lunch, Tom cleaned the house with magic while Harry gave the kitchen a good cleaning with lots of elbow grease since he still wanted to limit his magic use after suffering magical exhaustion earlier that week, and they drove to Tesco to do their weekly grocery shop.

Tom had glanced at Harry with a raised eyebrow a few times throughout the day, noticing something was bugging Harry, but it wasn’t until Harry snapped at poor Izzy when he almost tripped over her when he was sorting out leftovers for dinner that Tom had enough.

“Darling, that dog was standing there for a full minute before you decided to barge through her,” Tom said while Harry inhaled a few deep breaths. “What is going on in your head right now?”

Harry heaved a deep, deep sigh and shook his head while he closed the container of leftover mashed potatoes back up. “I don’t know,” he said as he frowned and tried very hard to understand why he was feeling out of sorts. “I suppose it’s about our visit to Snape this evening, but I have no idea why.”

“Hm.” Tom crossed his arms as he leaned against the kitchen counter so he could stare at Harry for a few long moments before finally replying. “Does it have anything to do with the fact that Severus outsmarted you the last time you two met?”

“I don’t think so,” Harry said, opening up the container of gravy. They had plenty of that left, too. “The closest guess I can make is that I had such an antagonistic relationship with Snape in my first life and none of that ever got resolved because he died at the end of the war, and now I’m suddenly supposed to work with him.”

“You’re feeling anger towards him for how he treated you in your first life?” Tom asked carefully, going into full therapist mode and probably not even realizing he was doing it.

“No,” Harry denied at once. It had been almost 200 lifetimes since Snape had been one of his biggest childhood antagonists, so you’d think Harry had gotten over it already. During their first meetings, Harry had no problems dealing with Snape, but then he’d been acting like Jack Bird. Now he was Harry Potter again, to Snape at least. “I don’t know, I really don’t.” Harry looked at Tom with pleading eyes, willing him to understand that Harry didn’t always know what was up in his own head, especially not after the traumatizing life he’d lived before their current one. Who knows how many mental issues he’d brought along with him from that life into his current one.

“Come here,” Tom said with a soft smile, stepping up to Harry with his arms wide open. Harry didn’t hesitate for more than a second before wrapping his arms around Tom in a tight hug, pressing his face against Tom’s chest. “It’s been an intense few months in this life, preceded by a difficult and violent life, which in turn was preceded by a life full of restrictions and loneliness. I feel it weighing on me, too, darling.” Tom gazed down at Harry with his warm brown eyes full of emotion. “Let’s go on a nice, long vacation after you finish your exams.”

“Oh.” Somehow, that suggestion made Harry’s eyes tear up and his throat constrict. “Yeah. Somewhere nice. New Zealand?”

“Or Japan.”

“Japan!” Harry felt his mood lift at once. They had lived in so many countries during their many lives and most of those lives had been happy enough, leaving them with positive experiences concerning whatever country they’d lived in. But some countries truly were nicer to live in than others, and over the years Harry and Tom had a short list of places they liked to visit simply because they’d had such good experiences living there. New Zealand was on that list, but so was modern day Japan.